My four year-old is one smooth kid. He knows exactly how to get to his mother’s heart. Just the other day I walked into the room and found he had been beating one of his toys against the wall. Not only was this causing scratches on the toy, but it was leaving bright blue marks on the wall. I said to him, “Josh, do you see how you made a mark on the wall? I’m not very happy about that.” Josh answered me by saying, “Yes. I love you, Mommy.” Now, he’s tried this technique before, so I muscled through- “I love you too, Josh, but you-” here he interrupted me to say, “Mommy, let’s not talk about that anymore. I just love you so much.” How do you argue with that? This is also the child who when I told him he needed to ask politely for another muffin said, “Mommy, give me another muffin. I love you.” I think he’s pretty sure that a declaration of love can fix anything. And I think maybe he’s onto something.
I am certainly not a perfect person and when I find myself receiving instruction or in need of accountability I can be pretty defensive. I would rather explain myself or make excuses then humble myself and focus on what I need to change. I know Josh’s technique is more about distraction and avoiding trouble than about true humility, but I think he’s remembering something that I too often forget. Next time I find myself receiving some needed correction, I want to be sure and express my love to someone who would take the risk to help keep me on the right path. Although discipline rarely feels like love, as moms we know it’s precisely because we love our children that we’re willing to do battle with their little sin natures. I need to realize that it takes a lot of love for a friend- or dare I say my husband- to confront me in the ways I’m struggling, too. I think it’s important to accept it with a loving spirit and to see it as a reflection of the heart of my Father God who takes such an interest in my growth.