My son doesn’t believe in Santa Claus, but he does believe in the dentist and in his mind they must be almost the same thing. After a recent dental check-up Josh started asking me, “Mommy, do my teeth look so clean? That will make Dr. Lovelace happy.” That one I understood. I was more confused when he asked me, “Did I do a good job cleaning my room? I think Dr. Lovelace will like that, too.” I’ve been thinking about ways to harness this- “Josh, be good to your brother or Dr. Lovelace will be sad.” or “Dr. Lovelace really likes it when you help Mommy set the table.” Maybe we should find a little dentist figurine we could put up on the Christmas tree this year.
It’s amazing to me how much we are hard-wired to seek the approval of others even from such a young age. My son has yet to learn that brushing your teeth is important because it prevents cavities, but he’s willing to put in the time and effort because he thinks it will earn him the love of his dentist. And quite frankly, I can’t say I love flossing, but I dread seeing the dentist look disappointed so I floss away. Maybe the secret to being an effective dentist is a lot like the secret to being an effective mom- build a good relationship so you can infuse just enough guilt to get the responses you want. Maybe not.
For now I’m thankful that Josh is willing to have good behavior in hopes of pleasing the dentist, but I hope we’re able to get beyond that to understanding how to please the heart of God. I don’t want him to just be a people-pleaser because at some point you learn that what pleases people and what pleases God are not always the same. If he has to choose between making other people happy and honoring God, I want him to have the strength of character to make the hard choice.
So during these influential years let’s keep seeking out great role-models for our kids who will lead them to an understanding of the importance of doing right whether that’s their grandparents, their pastor, or even the dentist.