As the Christmas season draws nearer, I have been spending a lot of time thinking about a woman who was miraculously pregnant with an unexpected son and anticipating her first experience with birth. If I wanted you to think I was holier than I am, I’d tell you I’ve been thinking about Mary. The truth is, I’ve been thinking about myself. I feel sad for this child who may be born on Christmas and forever be forced to combine his two present-getting days into one, but as I anticipate his arrival it has given me a new perspective on Mary’s mother heart.
In the days before my positive pregnancy test, I would have told you that should God bless me with the ability to carry a child to term, I would enthusiastically embrace it. Having waited so many years for that experience, of course that would be my reaction. Right? In reality, I was so shocked by the thought of pregnancy and the kind of havoc that was going to wreak on my very busy life that I forgot to be joyful. I wish I had been more like Mary who when told about her unplanned pregnancy responded with total trust in God’s plan. Instead, I have more in common with Zechariah who when informed that he and his long-barren wife would have a son responded with such shock that God dealt with his disbelief by making him silent for the duration of the pregnancy. I’m sure there are days my husband wouldn’t have minded that too much just so I’d quit bothering him about baby names or the nuances of cloth diapers versus disposables.
Although in those first moments shock may have outweighed my joy, I now have a thankfulness that this perfect timing was all part of God’s plan. And next time God changes the direction I thought my life was heading, I want to echo Mary’s words- “I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.”