There are some parenting moments that just plain feel wrong. Have you ever had to remind a child to say “thank you for the meal” after dinner? Shouldn’t they just thank you because they’re grateful without having to be forced? It feels even a step more awkward when you have to teach a toddler to respond to being told “I love you” by saying, “I love you, too”. It has felt so odd to me to say to my child, “Now, tell Mommy you love me.” I’m not saying I’m proud of it, but in a moment where a child wasn’t able to obey on this topic I have been known to say, “You need to tell Mommy you love her or go sit in time-out.” I know that my kids need to learn to be polite and responsive and I really have no doubt about their love for me, but how sincere does it seem in that moment?
This is another of those times when parenting has helped me understand a little better why God has designed things the way He has. I remember at the Christian college I attended there was great debate about why God gave us free will. Why doesn’t He just make everybody love Him? I think the people engaging in that debate probably hadn’t experienced the difference between a forced declaration of love and the ones that spring from the heart. As frustrating as it can be to teach a child to express their love, I am so blessed that now my son Josh will say to me about ten times each day, “Mommy can I tell you something? I just love you.” It is so sincere and unprovoked and comes directly from his tender heart. I can see so many ways that through the teaching of my parents when I was very small I was taught to love God even before it came spontaneously or naturally. Now I can’t hold it back when I see His hand at work in my life. I’m so glad He’s given me the free-will and grace to love Him and to teach my kids to do the same.