After five years of houseparenting in a boys home and then the adoption of our two sons, adding our daughter Bethany to the family was quite an adjustment. She can be such a little girl- like the other day when I told her it was time to get dressed and she came out still wearing her pajamas, but now carrying a purse. Or the time she brought me her three fanciest shoes to put on and then cried when she realized she only had two feet. Of course, she is a little girl in a family of boys so as soon as she had those sparkly blue shoes on she ran right out to dig in the dirt with her brother.
It has been a new challenge for me to learn to cultivate her beautiful, sensitive heart. Where my boys might need me to be a pretty tough disciplinarian, my little girl can feel convicted and burst into tears if I just look at her sternly. I realized this recently when she and I were watching old videos of her baby days. She watched herself throw a bit of a fit- something totally appropriate for a baby, but she knows that would never fly now- and she looked over at me and cried, “Sorry, Mommy”. I couldn’t believe my little two year-old was feeling convicted for the behavior of her baby self on a video. She is also the child who when I came into her room to tell her to stop making such a racket during naptime immediately cried, apologized and tried to offer my her plastic tea cup saying, “Coffee, Mommy?” She knows me a little too well.
These are the moments I realize how much I have to learn from my girl. I love the gentleness and sensitivity of my daughter- qualities I don’t always see in myself. I also acutely feel the weight of training this little person to not let her emotions or guilt control her life- a tendency I do share. I’m sure her Father God must feel such joy in watching her heart be tendered toward His will as she learns to accept His forgiveness and grace.