Parenting Tip of the Day #1

Are you at the end of your parenting rope about some little behavioral quirk?  I might be able to help.

To start: You’ve got to have a child who is capable of some level of delayed gratification (probably older than 2 and I’ve used this with kids all the way through teenage years), a snack/candy that comes in an individually wrapped package, a specific behavioral problem you are tired of dealing with, and a specified period of time.

For me- I’ll be using a 5 year-old who says “poop” all. the. time., a 3 year-old who doesn’t want to stay in bed for quiet-time, and a 2 year-old who stomps her foot when she doesn’t get her way.  For my candy I have a pack of fruit snacks for each kid (Smarties, snack size m&ms, and sweet tarts also work well, and in a pinch you can use a handful of chocolate chips).  I will be starting this program in the morning and ending after nap.

I tell the children in the morning, “Kids!  Today you can have this pack of your favorite fruit snacks.  Yum yum!  We love fruit snacks!  Do you want fruit snacks?!”  Children say, “Yes!  We love fruit snacks!”  I say, “Okay, you can have as many of these as you want right after naps. . . BUT, anytime you do this behavior I’ve been asking you to stop (saying “poop” unnecessarily, getting out of bed during nap, stomping your foot) I will eat one fruit snack.  Whatever is left after naps is all yours.”

The kids may end up with no fruit snacks or an entire pack depending on their self-control level.  I am not promising that this will change their hearts, deal with underlying issues, or even totally fix the behavior.  I am telling you that I feel a lot better about having to deal with a bunch of misbehavior when I have been rewarded for my consistency by a getting a fruit snack every time I have to deal with it.  Win/win!

Tell me how it works for you!