(Catch the craziness in real-time here)
Talking to my husband while changing The Baby’s diaper-
Me: And hey, could you toss this for me? (handing him the dirty diaper)
Brian: Sure. (throws diaper against the wall)
Guess I should have been more specific. . .
Josh talking to his little sister: I’m doing a Star Wars puzzle. Mom says this guy’s name is. . . is. . . Mannequin.
So close.
Daughter: Mommy, what that smell?
Me: I’m cooking bacon.
Daughter: Bacon?! For ME?! You my best mommy EVER.
I do what I can.
Josh: Mom, FOR REAL this is how pirates say treasure. . . “poop”.
Me: I think you mean “booty”.
Josh: Oh yeah. . . (giggling to himself, mumbling under his breath) “booty”.
Boys.
I was doing a radio interview by phone this morning about infertility. I had put the kids’ clothes out so Daddy could get them dressed without bothering me while I camped out in one of their rooms. I found out I forgot a very important piece of clothing when one of my children walked into the room entirely naked and yelled, “You forgot my underwear.”
It’s a classy life I lead. And thankfully the interview was pre-taped and they can edit that out. I hope.
Banging a pot with a spoon= baby stress-reliever, mommy stress-creator.
Josh: Mommy, this dinosaur is SO cool. I wish I could see it up close. I’d have to use a. . . a. . . a wine glass?
Me: What?! Oh no, you mean a magnifying glass.
Josh: Yes!
#ohdear
Husband: Well, I’m off to take a shower. Whoops! Almost forgot my phone.
We live in a strange age.
While looking for movies with adoption themes I found a website that offered this description of a movie: “Trilogy of films about two adoptees searching for their birthfather.” What trilogy were they describing?
“Star Wars”
#didntseethatcoming
Josh: Mom, when you tuck the baby’s shirt into his pants (note: baby is wearing a onesie) he looks like a daddy.
I’m going to pretend not to know Josh is referring to The Baby’s prominent potbelly.