A Life in Status- January #2, 2013

(Here’s where it happens.)

10 minutes before it’s time to pick-up Josh from school = when the three little ones finally decide to fall asleep for their nap

In case you’re wondering, about 30 hours after purchasing a new white shower curtain your children will decide it would be an excellent place to wipe their dirty hands and faces.

Josh: Mom, I want to give Danny some of my money. He’s just being such a great brother.
Me: Josh, I love your giving heart.
Josh: It’s NOT my giving heart. It’s just what I do. It’s just what my brain makes me do.
Glad we got that all clarified.

Moms of toddlers get really good at cleaning footprints off of toilet seats.

Me: Josh, if you have a friend over you can NOT have underwear on your floor.
Josh: Okay. But Mom, they’re just tiny pants.
#awkwardtruth

My daughter has an imaginary friend. This was adorable until they started arguing over toys. Oh good. Just what we needed around here.
Next time I hope she invents somebody a little easier to get along with.

Me: Oh Honey, you don’t need to tuck your shirt into your sweatpants.
Josh: But Mom, I have to tuck it in if I want to look so handsome. You know- like Daddy.
Can’t argue with this kid.

It’s a little frustrating to watch your child gag over the dinner you spent an hour making after you just watched them eat play-doh and their own boogers.

Josh wants to know why Yoda is sitting in a Bumbo during the Jedi Council meeting.
#validquestion

My daughter told the pediatrician she likes to eat carrots. Last year Josh told the pediatrician he likes to eat “hamburgers and coffee”. So I guess we’re making better choices this year. . . like the choice to prep our child for the pediatrician’s questions.

Sometimes you’re so used to looking for other people’s shoes that when you’re preparing to go run errands you reach into the shoe closet and pull out Avengers sneakers instead of your boots.
#classy

I’ve decided to just embrace this stage of our life and paint the bathroom Boys Who Have Trouble Aiming Yellow.

Some Strawberry Shortcake complaints:
1) Where are her parents?
2) Why can the cat talk, but the dog can’t?
3) Where are the characters meant to appeal to little girls like me? I suggest Pork Chop Petunia or Maple Bacon Betty.

Daughter is punching the air and yelling, “Hiiiiiiii-ya!” I ask her where she learned that. She says, “My daddy says he do that when he a little girl.”
So many questions. . .