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I may not be the breadwinner of our family, but I am the one who does the Subway survey so we get a free cookie.
I’m cleaning my house with about the same products that are in your average salad dressing.
Being a hipster is weird.
Not that I really need to know, but if perchance you were a thirteen month-old baby, where would you (hypothetically speaking, of course) have put my phone? Thoughts?
Watching your child throw-up is kind of like getting a disgusting peek at your future. You start to evaluate every food decision based on how it will go coming back up.
We’re on our second illness in three weeks. I’m contemplating collecting the stuffed animals and going all “Velveteen Rabbit” on them. You know- bag them up, burn them and tell the kids they finally became “real” and they’re running around the backyard. Good plan?
I’m starting to wish they made a Germ-X mouthwash.
You know it’s been awhile since you cleaned the bathtub when you seriously consider getting out the metal scrubber you use on the pots and pans to deal with the grime.
When you’re up from 3-4 a.m. with a sick child watching nature documentaries you are likely to think things like- “Hmmmmm, I am really not okay with gorillas running around with no pants on.” By the light of day, I’m actually not that upset by it.
I did not hand-make my child’s school Valentines. I am not planning on making any heart-shaped foods today or decorating any cupcakes with candy hearts. My house has not one construction paper heart or glittery cupid hung up. I love my husband and kids, but I am a walking #Pinterestfail. Who’s with me?
My daughter just told me she can’t wait to turn five because then, “I be pour my own KETCHUP! On my PLATE!” It’s the little things.
I currently have a baby imprint on my shirt- questionable wet spot where I carry him on my hip, oatmeal on my sleeve, drool on my chest, snot on my shoulder.
The boys will soon be sharing a room again. I told Josh we needed to find Danny a Star Wars blanket so they could match. Josh said, “But he loves dinosaurs. He needs a dinosaur blanket.” I am now franticly scouring etsy to find some kind of boys decor involving t-rexes with lightsabers.
Who to be frustrated at- the child who left the bathroom door open or the baby who took that opportunity to throw the decorative soap into the toilet?
Daughter: Mommy, I super sick.
Me: I know, Sweetie. So you can pick whatever movie you want while you’re on the couch.
Daughter: What I WANT? Not my brothers pick?! I piiiiiiiiiiick. . . . “Godzilla”!
#thatsmygirl #girlswithbrothers
Nothing helps you realize how white and inhibited you are like watching your multi-racial children have a dance party.
I’ve always found a special joy in seeing my kids light up when they hear music from their birth cultures. I just didn’t realize that would happen the first time The Baby heard Brad Paisley.
#daddyssouthernbaby