(It’s funny because it’s true.)
Daughter: DANNY! I’m gonna tell Grama on you!
Her version of tattling. Grama takes her more seriously than Mommy does.
Daughter: Look! Mommy, look! Hey, I throwing a fit. See! Look!
When you’re a middle child, you have to make it really clear when you’re upset or else it might just go unnoticed.
#notlikely
The only little girl in a family of boys WILL refer to her pink, ruffled, sparkly bathing suit as her “swimming trunks”.
Note to self: Wait until after The Baby has emptied the dirt out of his hand before picking him up and telling him it’s time to come inside.
#momneedsashower
When I’m organizing the toys, does Optimus Prime go with the cars or the superheroes?
#organizedmomproblems
It’s too hot to cook. I just wish it was too hot to eat.
The dentist showed the kids a plastic chicken toy to keep them entertained while I was getting my teeth cleaned.
Dentist: Do you have a chicken at home?
Daughter: I only has a dog.
Dentist: Does he lay eggs?
Daughter: No. He only pees.
Well, you can’t argue with the truth.
Josh: It was a bad day at school, Mom.
Me: It was? What happened?
Josh: I got in a fight.
Me: Did you hit somebody? Did somebody hit you?
Josh: No. It was just a fight with girls. You know- lots of talking.
Me: Oh. Well, is it all resolved.
Josh: Yeah. We decided we probably all needed to get some more rest. Can I go to bed early tonight?
I like these girls.
Me: DANNY! Wait for Mommy before you cross the street!
Daughter: Not cool, Danny.
Love that girl. The force is strong with this one.
My mom says The Baby is developmentally advanced. She bases this on how at 17 months he is throwing fits usually reserved for 2 year-olds. Great.
“She who judges other people’s children for having dirt under their fingernails did not make enough mud pies in her own youth.” -Ancient Chinese Proverb. . . or Maraleeism (sometimes it’s hard to remember which)
Me: Seriously, I can’t believe you peed your pants twice today.
Child: Actually, I peed IN them once and one time I peed ON them.
Thanks for the clarification.
Elmo, what is your deal? When you have a pressing question you check with Mr. Noodle and a baby for answers? Probably the only two people in the world who know less than you. Somebody needs to have a talk with that puppet.