(You can watch it unfold here or here)
Daughter: It raining. Turn on the flappers, Mommy.
Me: The who? Oh. The wipers.
#fluentintoddlerspeak
Danny: Mommy, I smell doggy bottom? You lick it, it taste worser than a fart?
How to answer that. . .
Snuggled up together my daughter says, “I love you so much.” And I say, “I love you, too.” And she says, “Mom, I talking to my raccoon.”
Being a mom is humbling.
Daughter: MOM! Joshie being mean! He say the dinosaurs all done. There no more dinosaurs. That NOT NICE, JOSHIE!
#truthhurts
Have a salad fresh from the garden = awesome
Nearly eating a balsamic vinaigrette covered caterpillar = not awesome
Josh: Mom, in our VBS Bible story we learned how Jesus calmed the storm so the guys in the boat. . . you know. . .Hudson Taylor could get to China.
Me: That’s great!. . . Wait. . . what? Are you doing a missionary story and a Bible story?
Josh: Yeah.
Me: Got it.
Danny is under the impression that the “Littlest Pet Shop” cartoon is called “Littlest Pork Chop” which I imagine would be a shockingly different show.
You know you’re raising a hipster baby when he insists on wearing a fedora to bed.
The pile of laundry on the couch would say I didn’t make good use of my time last night. The bruises on my arms from the slip n’ slide would disagree.
The Baby believes the van is named “Buckle” which makes sense when you realize that’s the word I say approximately 57 times whenever we get in it.
Josh: MOM! Bethie hit me!
Me: Bethany, did you hit your brother?
Bethany: Mom, he say I’m not cute.
She hates liars.
Me: Sweetie, where did you get a penny?
Daughter: Joshie give it to me.
Me: Why did he do that?
Daughter: He want to marry me. But I still not marrying him. I just marry Danny.
So many choices. . .
I often quote Dr. Seuss. But not the usual passages. When it’s mid afternoon around here and I find my three boys eating string cheese at the table I have to quote “Hop on Pop” to my baby and say, “Eat a snack. Eat a snack. Eat a snack with Brown and Black.” Because we’re literal like that.
Trying to convince the kids to be the kind of superheroes that fight messes. Not. Working.