So, you read my post yesterday and you think early potty training might be right for you. What next? Here’s how you make it happen.
Talk about poop with your baby. I know, I know. This is weird. But you need to develop a communication with your child about their bathroom habits. When I’m changing my baby’s diaper I say, “Oh, you have poop! Let’s change your poop. Poop goes in the potty.” Just a running monologue of whatever you want to say to help them connect what’s in their diaper with the words you want to use to potty train so they have language to communicate later. This can also be done with Baby Sign if that’s something you’re using. There’s a sign for “potty” that I’ve used with each of my kids before they were old enough to talk and it has worked well to give them a tool for communication.
Model how to use the bathroom. I love boundaries and HIGHLY value my time alone in the bathroom (which is sometimes the only alone time I may get in a day), so I don’t like this, but I think it’s a necessity. Let your baby see you using the potty or see their siblings using the potty. That’s when you continue the language tools you’re teaching them. Sign “potty.” Say, “Mommy goes poop in the potty. Sister goes poop in the potty.” Whatever it is to help them connect your words about the bathroom with this place and action. I wouldn’t say this needs to be every time you use the bathroom, but every once in a while. I’d also say I’m intentional about starting this when my kids are ready to communicate and are in that early walking stage. I’m not saying you should be holding an infant while using the bathroom. . . although I think we’ve all done that a time or two.
Own the right tools. It took me a couple potty training experiences to figure out what I didn’t like. I don’t like the potty chair option. I don’t like having them poop in their potty, then I have to dump it in my potty, then I have to clean it out. Too many steps and it doesn’t transfer when you’re in a different environment without that potty. I also don’t like the big, bulky potty seats that connect to your toilet and always have to be put on when the child has to go or has to be pulled off for an older child to go. So on the recommendation of a friend I bought a Flip n’ Flush
Check your heart. This is not an overnight process. Don’t do it angry. Be prepared to clean poop out of pants and pee off the floor. If you can’t handle that, you’re not ready to potty train. Be prepared to be positive about it and when your child makes that first accident to handle it with grace (“No no, Sweetie. Pee goes in the potty!” in an upbeat voice)
Start when you’re ready. For me, I have started with most of my kids at around 18 months (some younger, some older) because they’re starting to be confident walkers and better at communication. My goal is to have their last diaper happen the day before their second birthday. That means I am PLANNING on this process taking a couple months. If you want to potty-train in a weekend, this probably isn’t the route for you.
Do diaper-free hour. I start by taking off the diaper for an hour one morning. Just let your baby experience what it’s like to live without a diaper. Have them sit on the potty briefly every 15 minutes or so while you say, “Potty! Potty!” and do your potty sign. You can reward them with a raisin or cheerios (or *gasp* a chocolate chip) just for sitting there or for actually going. You will need to be watching really closely as they’re cruising around the house diaper-free to see if/when they go so you can talk to them about it (NOT scold them, just communicate with them about what they did so they’re adjusting to the language). If you know they traditionally have a time they poop, that’s a good time to have them be diaper-free.
Do a diaper-free morning. Up the ante by doing an entire morning diaper-free. Same routine as diaper free hour, but extend the timeframe and keep taking them to the potty regularly. (The reason I start with just an hour for a little while has more to do with me than them. In the beginning it is very intensive and stressful to be watching them all the time, so I limit it to just an hour so we can still do some normal life.)
Give them juice. You need to see progress which means they need to have the urge. Let them have free access to a sippy cup of goodness so they’re more likely to need to go. In our house “juice” really means juice flavored water (80% water, 20% juice) and that seems to work fine.
Redefine success. Seeing your child pee on the floor is actually a good thing because it gives you a chance to reinforce your communication. You get to say, “You are going pee! Pee goes in the potty!” and then you take them to the potty. All kids potty in the bathtub at some point and instead of getting upset about this, use it as a communication moment, “That’s poop! You went poop! Poop goes in the potty!”
Have some extended times on the toilet. Instead of just having them sit for a second and saying, “Potty!” have a longer period of time for them to sit. Sing songs, read books, make it enjoyable. My kids loved it when I would brush their teeth while they were on the potty.You really need to have something to reward them for so they can get the idea of what’s going on here. Your earlier times of having them sit on the potty should make it not a scary experience, so now let’s make it fun.
REWARD! Know what motivates your child and let them have it if they have success on the potty.
Repeat. This is now your routine until your child starts to get the hang of it. If you’re going to the grocery store or the library, throw a pull-up on them so you can easily have them use the potty if they express a need, but don’t expect them to express it when they’re in a diaper of any kind. When they are more consistent about letting you know their bathroom needs, then do diaper-free afternoons/evenings (diaper them during naps).
I know you think your kid can’t do this. Maybe they can’t. Some kids have unique learning needs or digestive issues that complicate potty training at any age. I do want to encourage you that I’ve done this with five kids who are VERY different from each other (different biologically, ethnically, learning styles, motivations, gender, etc.) and they’ve all been potty trained to varying degrees by their second birthday. For four of them they were entirely potty-trained before their birthday and for one it took some months afterwards of consistently dealing with accidents, but he never wore another diaper after his birthday (and one we’re still in the process of training). I really think most kids are capable of figuring this out, but it means having a mom who wants it to work and is willing to put in the effort. Good luck!
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