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Danny: Mom, I prayed to God in my heart.
Me: You did? What did you pray about?
Danny: I ask him to help me not eat any more food off the ground.
Well. . . it’s a start.
Sadie Hawkins dance
In your big boy pants
Nothing better
Oh! Oh! Oh!
– Potty Training Classics
(this one is courtesy of Reliant K with Maralee modifications)
Me: Did they feed you at preschool today?
Danny: They don’t feed me! They only feed my wheel friend.
Me: Your real friend?
Danny: My WHEEL friend! He in a chair. They only feed him.
Me: Oh. Right. . . I guess I meant, “Did they serve you lunch?”
Danny: I had chicken.
#preschoolercommunication
Bethany: Who gets to pick the movie?
Me: Danny doesn’t get to pick because he chose to get out of his bed last night.
Danny: I hate everything.
. . . Still working on keeping things in perspective.
Me (finding The Baby with a tube of lipstick: WHATAREYOUDOING?!
Baby: Color!
#toddlerhonesty
If The Baby asks for paper, give him paper. Or else he will be forced to use his belly as a blank canvas on which to compose his art.
Husband: So what exactly is “twerking”?
(I attempt to explain)
Husband: Like this, you mean?
That’s when my husband. twerked. Expertly.
There are some things in life you can’t unsee no matter how hard you try.
Danny: Bethie, here my dinosaur. You keep it in your room? You see it, you remember me when I at preschool. You not miss me so much?
#melt
Me: How come I name this baby “Joel”, but you guys only call him “Little Guy”?
Josh: Sorry, Mom. I guess you can try naming the next one “Joel”.
. . . Wait a minute. . .
Danny: Mom, I try play by myself at preschool, but everybody keep playing with me.
#introvertproblems
Like to pretend I’m a writer. Just made two spelling errors on an assignment from my son’s first grade teacher. In pen. Ugh.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year! The time when without me picking out outfits, everybody knows exactly what to wear on Saturdays. Go Big Red.
Got the clippers out and buzzed The Baby’s hair in time for the first Husker game of the season. These are the days when boys become men.
Potty training a toddler who needs help reaching the potty means that for the rest of us, our toilet now has an ottoman.
#feelingfancy
The longer I’m a mom the more I realize I have become less of an Ernie and more of a Bert.