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A Life in Status- October #3 & 4, 2013

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Josh decided to use his day off of school to create a puppet show for his siblings. There were a lot of jokes about poop and booties.
#knowshisaudience

Sometimes you wonder if your four year-old is listening during church. And then the pastor says, “You may be seated” and your child yells back, “I ALREADY AM SITTING DOWN!”
So it’s kind of a good news/bad news situation.

The child who misbehaves the most in Sunday School is the one whose mother is the teacher.
-Ancient Maralee Proverb

Anybody else have to clean footprints off the windows?!
#boys

Dear Children,
If you love something, do not set it free. Put it away where it goes. If I accidentally vacuum it up, throw it away, or donate it, because it was just laying around, I will assume you never loved it at all.
Love,
Mommy

Danny: MOM! Little Guy have boogers! Come quick! They like a mustache!
It’s gross, but I’m proud of his use of a simile.
#futurewriter

Sometimes I get all mad about sexy Halloween costumes marketed to young girls. And then I remember we live in Nebraska and whatever costume a child chooses gets bundled under/over a thousand layers of sweatshirts, hats, gloves, sweatpants, etc. Hooray for cold weather induced modesty!

Bethany (irritated and yelling): MOM! Baby Joel atroying my TOY!
Me: Oh Honey, he’s not destroying it, he’s just playing with it.
Bethany: NO! He ENJOYING it! Make him stop!
#siblings

Danny’s preschool teacher: So we asked Danny to list off his siblings. Is your youngest really named Little Guy? Danny said he didn’t know any other name for him.
Sigh. . .

Too cheap to go out for coffee or buy fancy creamer.
Add a spoonful of frosting to your coffee.
Consider yourself a genius.

It’s always a bummer when your toddler remembers to take himself to the potty, but forgets the crucial step of pulling down his pants.
#locationsuccess #laundryfail

Me: What’s the matter?
Danny: I just almost crying because I love Indians so much.
Me: Yeah?
Danny: Yes. And Dr. Who.
#priorities

Was working super hard to clean up a spot where The Baby had an accident so he wouldn’t smell that spot and be tempted to have an accident there again. Then I remembered that’s not how babies decide things.
#wrongspecies #pottytrainingnothousebreaking

It doesn’t matter how innocent or snack-related it is, when you have a multiracial family it always feels weird when a child yells, “CRACKER!”

Josh: You know this song? I rememberized it.
#closeenough

Got a note from the water company that our water would be shut off for a couple hours while they completed a repair. Immediately drank a bunch of water before they shut it off. Forgot that no water also means no flushing toilet.
#oops

The three year-old told me they studied “Moses and the Ten Companions” during Children’s Church.
#WhovianToddler

Driving through falling leaves-
Daughter: MOM! The trees getting ALL NAKED!
Toddlers are disturbing.

When it’s 30 degrees as your kids leave for school and 70 when they come home, no matter how you dress them at some point during the day you look like an irresponsible parent.
#midwestmomproblems

Danny (singing to himself): Pteranodon, I miss you, I miss you. Pteranodon, where did you go. (repeat)
“Love Song for the Dinosaurs” by Daniel Bradley

Some people tell you girls and boys are equally hard to potty-train. Those people can come clean up the poop on my floor that unexpectedly happened when my son was standing to use the toilet.
#girlsdontdothat

Me: Josh, when your birthday comes it always makes me think about your first mom. About how thankful I am that she gave you life and let me be your mom and how proud she would be of you.
Josh: Was she there on my first birthday?
Me: No, you were with us. But of course she was there on your birth day, on the day you were born.
Josh: SHE WAS?!
Apparently, I’ve been explaining this adoption thing all wrong.
#facepalm #adoptioniscomplicated#birthmommeanswhatitsoundslike

Danny: Mom, sometimes I go under my bed and do my science.
Me: Your science?
Danny: I think about dinosaurs. When they were alive.
Works for me.

Josh: What if my birthmom had other kids?
Me: She did. You know, J___.
Josh: J___ from school?
Me: No, you know this. J____ who lives in Liberia. J____ from school is white, he couldn’t be your biological brother.
Josh: Well, he could be my adopted biological brother because adopted brothers can be different colors.
Me: Ummmmmm, sure.
#Igiveup

Just sold some of the kids’ old toys and used the money to buy them a mini trampoline. I am the modern Proverbs 31 woman. Sort of.

Friends are coming over, so I decide to bake bread to give the house a warm, homey smell. I forgot something spilled in the oven last night, so now the house has more of a burned, smokey smell. Figures.

Just got back from an emergency trip for diapers and bottles. Being a waiting foster mom is kind of like constantly being 9 months pregnant and never feeling quite prepared. Ready or not, here comes Baby!

3 out of 4 Bradley children recommend wetting the bed the first night a new baby comes home.
#laundrymountain

If you feel like you never get anything accomplished, you really should add another baby to your family. You’ll start to realize exactly how much you were accomplishing and how much you can’t accomplish anymore pretty quickly.

Josh: Mom, I got a lot of great presents for my birthday, but my favorite is the little sister.
#fosterbrother #hegetsit

Million Dollar Idea: Overalls-style diaper for newborns. No more blowouts up the back.
You’re welcome.

 

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