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I don’t mind the extended goodbyes Joel says to his poops prior to flushing. It just weirds me out when he tearfully says, “See you later.”
Me: Did you have a best friend at preschool today?
Danny: No. They all want be my friend, but they make me carsick.
#introvertproblems
Me: Why do you have to listen to that dinosaur song every night?
Danny: It makes Honey Badger sleepy.
Me: Wait. . . are you Honey Badger?
Danny: It just who I am, Mom.
#suddenclarity
He who drinks his own bathwater
Shall later pee his own pants
-Ancient Maralee Proverb
Joel just heard me shake a handful of Nerds out of the box into my hand. From three rooms away.
#clearlymybiologicalchild #whyIsnackafterbedtime
I was feeling really proud about having all the kids dressed and ready to go out the door a full five minutes early. Then I looked down and remembered I’d forgotten to get myself ready. It’s amazing what you can do in five minutes.
#dontlooktooclosely #showersareoverrated #5isalotofkids
Me: You need to clean your room.
Bethany: I already did!
Me: I just looked and there’s still stuff on your floor.
Bethany (grumbling to herself): Why my stuff always telling on me?
#betrayal
Sometimes I’ve accomplished so much by 8:30 a.m. I feel like I should be able to go back to bed. And by “accomplished so much” I mean everybody ate oatmeal and is wearing pants.
#loweredexpectations
Want to find lost pacifiers in your house? Just go to the store and buy more pacifiers. As soon as you get home, all the lost pacifiers will become immediately visible.
There will be a season in life for polishing the silver. I am currently in the season for vacuuming around train tracks and occasionally kicking stuff under the couch.
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