A Volleyball Coach’s Thoughts on Youth Sports

I wrote yesterday about my recent experience as a first time soccer mom. Today I’m excited to share with you my friend Sara’s thoughts about youth sports. Why listen to Sara? For starters, she’s my friend! I’ve known Sara since we were kids in school together. She was always tall and smart and kind. When other athletically gifted kids would make the less coordinated among us feel afraid to try (Who has two thumbs and always hated PE? This guy!—points thumbs at self), Sara was compassionate and had a teacher’s spirit. 20 years later, I still remember her kindness to me and it has made her my go-to person on all questions of sports as I raise kids who are much more athletically gifted than I ever was.

Along with those credentials, Sara Horn is the Head Volleyball Coach at Morningside College in Sioux City, Iowa. She just finished her third year at the helm. Prior to her experience at Morningside College, she was the head coach at Iowa Central Community College, the Varsity coach at Millard North high school, and the assistant coach at Wayne State College, where she earned her Master’s degree in Education, with an emphasis on Sport Management. Sara is also 2004 graduate of the University of Nebraska, where she was a three-year letterwinner for the Cornhuskers. Along with her professional and athletic achievements, Sara is also a wife and mom to three young kids.

Youth Sports: What it Should be and What it Should NOT Be.

To say that sports have played a large role in my life would be an understatement. Sport is not only my career, where I spend the majority of my time when I’m away from my family, but it’s also my hobby and my passion. As someone whose life is centered around athletics, I could write an entire novel about the pros of athletics in someone’s life. Athletics has taught me more than any other subject or person. I credit my parents for introducing me to sports, but I doubt they could possibly have known the profound effect athletics has had on me.

As my children are now starting to be involved in youth sports, I am so excited to show them the wonderful things that this industry can give you. But, like anything, there can be negative things associated with sports. There are good people and bad people anywhere you go. My goal is to do everything I can to show them all of the good, and protect them from the bad, not only in life, but in sports as well. I want to show them what sports should be. While also protecting them from what sports should not be.

Life Lessons in a Safe Environment

Athletics to me is more than just a game. It is more than just trying to throw or kick a ball through a goal. It is more than trying to beat the opponent on the other side of the court. Athletics is a lesson. There are lessons to be learned in every situation. With every relationship that is formed and built, you can learn something. Athletics is life. There are triumphs and let downs, victories and defeats. There are selfless people and selfish people. Sports can be both ego boosting and drop you to your knees humbling. I can go on and on.

With sports, however, there are new games. New seasons. New teams. Sports are a great way to practice being the type of person you want to be. It’s a platform to teach your children the difference between right and wrong. It can teach you that hard work will often help you reach your goals. And if you fail, well then tomorrow is a new day. Next week is a new season. You can start from scratch and learn from the mistakes that were made. Sport is a great avenue to practice real life skills, in a relatively safe environment.

Social Skills

With athletics typically come teammates. Whether its small teams like bowling or large teams like swimming, athletes have to learn to work together, or at a minimum, learn how to be around each other. Youth sports are a great way to introduce your children to other children. Friendships can be made, and social skills can be honed. And with seasons lasting a relatively short period of time, you can pick and choose which relationships you’d like to continue in. Does your child have a best friend on the team? Great! Exchange numbers for a future playdate. Is there a child who you would rather not have your child associate with any longer? Fine. Season is over, no pressure to continue that relationship. Social skills are a very important part of life. Sports can provide a platform for your children to work on these skills.

Being Active

An obvious pro for your children to get involved with youth sports would be the exercise factor. There are many different sports and physical levels to choose from. Whether it’s a higher risk sport like football or a lower risk sport like golf, getting your children active is something that is important and will help set healthy habits in motion. Many adolescents fall into a dangerous habit of sitting in front of a TV all afternoon, inactively letting their youth slip by. They can become unmotivated to get their homework done, get a job, or join any activities or clubs at all. Keeping children involved and active is not only important for their health, but also for the mere point of giving them something to do. Adolescence can be hard; but if your child has something that interests them, they are more likely to stay motivated to do the right thing and do the tasks that they know they need to do.

Athletics is no different than any other area. There are pros, but there can also be cons. Having spent most of my life around the sporting world, I have learned a few things, and seen the mistakes that some people can make. It is my goal to keep these things as far away from my children as possible.

No College Scholarship Guaranteed

Many parents look at college athletes and see some obvious things: College scholarships; Professional careers; Money; Easy lives. What these parents don’t take into account is the miniscule percentage of youth sport participants that this happens to. Youth sports are not a fast track to a college scholarship. In fact, the majority of youth sports participants won’t even go on to play high school varsity sports. And the majority of high school varsity participants won’t even go on to play college sports. And the majority of college athletes will not go on to play professional sports. That makes the percentages for little Johnny, who plays little league baseball, to earn a college scholarship very, very small. Putting added pressure on your kids that that is your expectation makes this percentage even less. Youth sports should be for fun, for enjoyment for your kids. Not as an avenue to earn a college scholarship.

It’s About Your Child, NOT You

Athletics does teach us many lessons. Some good. Some bad. What it should be, is an opportunity for your child to learn. What it shouldn’t be, is an avenue for parents to get the results that they desire for their children. Too often, parents make it about themselves. They want their child to be the star. They want their child to be the winner. They want their child to be the best. This is why you see parents yell at officials. Why you see parents get in arguments with a coach. They are not seeing the outcome that they wanted to see, and it becomes about themselves, not their child. Sports should not be about the parent. Parents should be spectators and supporters. Children should not feel pressure from their parents over the outcome of a game or about the decisions that are out of the child’s control. The more stress and pressure a child feels from their parents over their sports means the less likely this child will continue to want to play.

Don’t Commit to too Much Time or Money

Sports, like most things, mean a time and money commitment. Each family needs to determine how much time and money they want to commit to a sport. To some families, one evening a week is more than enough time to commit. To some other families, 3 or 4 nights a week is ideal. Each family should not feel pressured to put in more time and money than they want. There are many different levels and types of sports and every family should be able to find one that fits their needs. Going beyond their needs is a sure way to have a bad experience and an end to an activity that should be enjoyable.

As another season comes to an end for me, I’m excited for what is to come. Another season is starting for my child, and the possible lessons for him to learn are endless. I hope that all parents can sit down before the start of their child’s next season, and come up with some goals. What do you want your child to learn? What do you want them to experience? Make it about them. Make it a lesson to be learned.