Confession: My life is not a romantic comedy. I mean, there are moments of romance and moments of comedy, but there’s a reason why the majority of rom coms are centered around how two people meet and fall in love. The stories of making marriage work and raising kids 10 years down the line may be slightly less adorable.
Falling in love is pretty easy. Romance is fun. Being married can be a lot of hard work. Really beautiful, important work. It requires faithfulness when you want to run and a commitment to pursuing peace when you’d rather keep fighting.
I’m incredibly grateful for Brian. He is my best friend. There have been moments when I felt like we were failing marriage because my cultural expectations of romance weren’t happening. And I read the Christian marriage books and felt like maybe we weren’t doing all the “right” things to have a long-lasting and successful marriage. Then one day I stopped listening to what other voices were saying I was supposed to want and instead took a good look at my marriage. The truth is, I’m happy. We have something pretty amazing. And when Brian got me the fancy vacuum cleaner for Christmas, I knew he was speaking my love language (I’m a practical person) better than if he’d caved to what TV commercials say I’m supposed to want.
I am learning each year to study Brian instead of studying the latest ideas about what supposedly makes a good marriage. We have a unique relationship and what we need to feel loved is something we can best express to each other.
Have a listen to the audio from the Morning Conversation I was part of on My Bridge Radio and get a feel for how we prioritize our marriage in the years of business with little ones underfoot.