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Went to check on my crying toddler in bed. He points to a book on the floor and only stops crying when I’ve put it away correctly on the bookshelf.
#Mennoniteproblems
If the ability a boy has to pay attention to the toilet while peeing has any correlation to their future ability to pay attention to the road while driving, we’re in trouble.
#EYESONTHEROAD
Having kids means when you’re alone, you unnecessarily speak in the Royal “we”. Like when you almost run into someone at Target and say, “Excuse us” and then realize the kids are at home and that one was all you.
Danny: Mom, we cleaned the room. But. . . don’t go check.
#sureyoudid
Daughter is sobbing that she wanted COLD hot chocolate and WHERE DID THE MARSHMALLOWS GO?! (they melted)
#whyIdontmakehotchocolate
Am I the only one who prefers Cinderella’s dress and styling when the mice and birds were in charge to the work of the Fairy Godmother?
I put ketchup hearts on top of cornbread hotdog muffins. Take that, Pinterest!
Me: Joel, your brothers are leaving. Do you want to say goodbye at the window?
Joel: YES! (runs to window) Goodbye, Window!
. . . not exactly. . .
Sent the naked two year-old to his room to pick out clothes. He comes back wearing just a hat. Obviously.
Danny: That’s the church where Mommy adopted Daddy.
Me: What? You mean where we got married?
Danny: Oh yeah.
#prettyclose
I met someone new at a church event. She took a look at our foster baby (who doesn’t look much like me) and asked if her dad had curly hair. I told her I didn’t know much about her dad and wasn’t sure what he looked like. It wasn’t until later I realized I forgot to mention I didn’t give birth to that child.
#oops
My mom has agreed to watch my kids so Brian and I can go away for a night. It feels weird to be in my thirties and back to asking my mom for permission to go out. . .
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