Today’s post comes from a college friend of mine. I remember some late night dorm room conversations with her about her parents’ work in foster care. I was really impressed with their commitment to kids, but could also tell there had been an emotional cost to my friend. Those conversations helped shape my thoughts on what considerations we make when we decide to involve our kids in our fostering ministry.
We have to recognize the confirmation bias that exists for those of us who are passionate about foster care. We want to see this as a good thing for our families because we see it as a good thing for us and the kids who need a home. It’s important for us to hear the stories of everybody involved, even those who have struggled.
(And if you want to see some of the most adorable images on the planet, Bianca is a photographer and takes ridiculously precious pictures of families. Her newborn shots are phenomenal and make me want to drive to Georgia after our next baby is born.)
When did your parents become foster parents? For how long? What ages of kids did they work with?
When I was in 8th grade for about 8 years. They asked to takes on only young kids but a couple of times I begged them to take in teenagers, which didn’t turn out like I expected :/
How did you feel when your parents first brought up the idea of being a foster family?
Excited to help and meet new kids.
What was the hardest part of being a foster family for you?
Waking up at 2:00 in the morning to help mom wash up the new baby girl who just came in and get attached so quickly, all for them to be taken out of our house the next day bc other foster parents complained about us having kids and them not. Happened all to often.
What was the biggest lesson you learned as a sibling to a foster child?
Hmmm. Not all kids have what I have and I should be very grateful.
How did being part of a fostering family shape your childhood and who you are today?
Well I know have another sister through fostering. My parents adopted. I also have a good friend/sister in one of the teens we took in. As for who I am today, I strive to be a good mom and care and provide for my children as well as protect them from things I’ve seen. However, the broken heart that I felt as a child with fostering has also made me not want to be a foster parent.
What did you learn about your parents by watching them foster?
They had a heart to help and care for these kids. And they can put up with a lot from “the system”
Would you ever consider fostering?
Sadly, no.
What should parents who already have children in their home consider before deciding to be foster parents?
The impact on their attitudes and experiences that some foster children may expose your children to.
If a child is resistant to their family deciding to foster, how do you think the parents should respond?
Consider their feelings an either talk it out with them or drop it.
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