Foster Care. Take the first step.

As you may or may not know, we are a foster family. Okay, you probably did know that. If you’ve ever met me, saw me at the grocery store, stumbled upon one of my posts or seen our family picture somewhere, you may have guessed that we are a foster family. Foster care has been part of our world for the last six years (and group home work for five years before that) and it’s a decision I’m very thankful we made. God has used foster care to bless us with some amazing kids, some humbling life experiences, and a perspective adjustment about our ability to control our lives (Spoiler alert— we can’t. Foster care is a pretty great daily reminder of that reality.)

I know great families who have not felt like foster care is right for them. And it isn’t right for lots of people, but I think there are many families that don’t pursue it when they should. It’s scary, right? Scary to think about letting a child into your life that might leave you, or getting involved with some shady biological families, or letting “the state” into your home. There are lots of reasons to be intimidated about foster care, but just one big reason to do it.

Because there are kids who need homes. Tonight. In your city.

Who could say no to this face? Not us.
Photo by Rebecca Tredway Photography

Are you prepared to take on that challenge right now? Probably not. There’s a training process that exists for a reason. There’s a lot to learn about the system, the players, the kids and their needs. Nobody gets into this (or SHOULD get into this) thinking, “We are going to be awesome at this and we are totally prepared for whatever comes our way.” Everybody does it with some healthy fear and trembling. But we do it because the needs are real and it’s a small way to make a difference in the life of a child and their family.

This journey has to start with a first step. Are you curious about foster care? Do some research (which is why there is a tab on the top of my blog labeled “foster care”). Are you still curious? Contact an agency and ask your questions. Still curious? Maybe it’s time to take the class and get licensed. If after all that, this still seems like something you might want to do, then set up the twin bed, pull up an extra place at the table, and get ready to be blessed and challenged and stretched.

I want you to feel confident that with each next step in the process, you can say no. You SHOULD say no if this doesn’t work for you or you and your spouse aren’t on the same page. Doing research doesn’t obligate you to contact an agency. Even being licensed doesn’t obligate you to take a placement. But it does open the door to you being ABLE to do this good work. My husband likes to say, “If you don’t get your license, you’ve already said no.” This isn’t a sentimental ploy to get people to sign up, it’s just true.

There’s a baby in a bassinet at the hospital who can not safely go home with his mother. There is a two year-old in the backseat of a caseworker’s car as she makes phone calls to try and find a place this child can spend the next few weeks while her parents go to treatment. There’s a school-aged child who was picked up from his last class of the day by the police because his mom landed in jail and now he has no one to care for him and his siblings. There’s a teenager who was brave enough to tell what her mom’s boyfriend had been doing to her and now she’s without a home. And without your license, you will never hear these stories. Never be able to say “Yes, we want to show you love and what it means to be a family and keep you safe and let you heal.” You can’t do those things if you don’t take the first step.

I wish I could turn off some of the things I know. When our biological son was born I remember walking by the hospital nursery and staring at each baby wondering, “Who of these children is a state ward? Who can’t go home with their mama tonight?” I remember being the foster mom who twice now has left the hospital with babies I didn’t birth and their fragility and preciousness has changed me. I can’t stop caring about those babies waiting for someone to step forward and say, “I’ll take on the risk. For today, or the next couple weeks, or for the rest of your life, I will love you. I will face the legal unknowns and your medical unknowns and emotional unknowns and academic unknowns to give you the best shot possible at normalcy and happiness and a life touched by Jesus.”

But now we have reached the legal limit of our ability to take on more children. The best thing I can do is encourage you to consider their needs and know that they really truly exist. And they are worth loving. So take that first step. Get some information and see where it leads you.

For the last six years we have worked with Christian Heritage and have been blessed by their integrity and commitment to our kids. Tomorrow night they will be holding an informational meeting in Lincoln for anyone interested in learning more about foster care. If you’re local, I’d encourage you to come. Here’s more information on the event and how to RSVP.