Dear Carolina,
We’re so excited that the big day is finally here! The day we make you part of our family forever. This journey has seemed so long and short, simple and complicated all at once. In the foster care world, going from placement to adoption before your first birthday is an incredibly fast process. There have been some legal hang-ups that made the process take longer than anybody initially expected, but thankfully we had been through this before and knew to add months to any projected timeline. We had no idea when we said yes to you that you would be forever part of our family or that your adoption would happen just two weeks before the due date of our (surprise!) biological baby. This has felt like a time of incredible unexpected blessings.
Carolina and Danny. Siblings of the heart from the very start.
It’s hard for me to think that you may never remember a time when you were the baby of the family. But you were! And what a great baby you have been. We’ve had a long time to think about a new name for you and your Daddy picked Carolina because it means “song of happiness”. We can’t imagine a better phrase to describe you. You have brought so much happiness to this family (not to mention how responsive you are to music!) and your happiness is pretty constant and contagious. You love to smile and dance and want to be in the middle of everything. I’m guessing this is why you started walking at just ten months— you wanted to keep up with these big siblings you love so much. It’s so funny to see you walk because you’re so tiny! We call you the smart car of babies— such a bright girl in such a teeny package. At just 18 pounds at 11 months, you look like a little baby just toddling all over the house.
Photo by Rebecca Tredway Photography
Your first months with us were filled with a lot of uncertainty about your future. We knew we were the temporary place for you to be while your first mom battled her demons and the state worked to connect you with biological family members. Your mom did visits a couple times a week and for awhile made progress towards her goals. We struggled through our contradictory feelings of wanting to see your mom succeed, but also knowing how much we would love to have you stay with us. As much as it was hard for us to imagine you leaving, it was not hard to love your mom and want to support her and the hard work she was doing. We continue to pray for her and love her and hope she’ll be able to be involved in your life as you grow. We’re also thankful we get to keep you connected to a biological sibling even though there wasn’t family able to take you.
Somebody discovered how fun it is to sit on the air conditioning vent at church.
But in all the uncertainty, there was one thing we were certain of— we loved YOU! When we first met you I couldn’t get over how TINY you were, but how BIG your eyes were! You always seemed to be staring into someone’s soul. You were an easy baby as far as eating well and sleeping through the night at about two months-old, but you insisted on only sleeping in my arms at night. It was precious to me that you wanted to be snuggled up next to me in order to feel secure enough to sleep, even if it meant lots of trips to the chiropractor for me to deal with the funny sleeping positions I adapted to keep you happy 🙂 It was all worth it and I remember grieving when you were ready to sleep in your own crib.
You adjusted so well to being in a big family. Since you were born on Josh’s birthday he has always called you his “favorite birthday present.” You and Bethany are such sisters and it’s a joy to me to see the special relationship you have with each of the boys. Everyone adores you and they fight over who gets to sit next to you at every meal every day. I can’t say I love that part of parenting, but I do love how much they love you. I’m excited to see you become a big sister to this new little baby coming. He is so blessed to have you and he doesn’t even know it yet.
Sometimes I used to imagine our family without you. There was a time when I worried people would think I couldn’t handle all these kids. I worried people would think we shouldn’t adopt you, especially when they found out I was pregnant. But I don’t think people know what it’s like in this house. How we all seem to thrive in the chaos and how bonded you are to your siblings and how you insisted on only letting me feed you for months and how Joel HAS to kiss you and hug you before you go down for a nap or else he’ll cry outside your door. You are part of this family. A very important part. A piece of our family puzzle that we didn’t know was missing until you showed up and now we know how empty we would be without you.
Photo by Jen Hinrichs
We love you, Carolina! We have been waiting for this day when you become legally part of our family forever. I don’t think you’ll notice anything has changed since we have loved you like our own since we brought you home from the hospital, but in the eyes of the court you will be our daughter. My daughter. I can’t wait to whisper those words to you. Just a few more hours, Sweet Girl.
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