A Life in Status- October #1, 2014

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The highchair our baby daughter sits in has a a little snack tray and cup holder that folds under the big tray when you aren’t using it. I am now finding out that the two year-old thought that would be an awesome place to hide his green beans.
‪#‎genius‬

The best thing about 9 months pregnant is that your family and friends will answer when you call them right away, any time of the day or night. Although you kind of feel like a constant disappointment when they realize you were just calling about something dumb.

Joel (age 2): Mom, you done cooking my baby brother?
Me: Just about! He can come out whenever he’s ready.
Joel: Oh yay! Thanks, Mom!
Me: Ummm. . . you’re welcome?
‪#‎38weeks‬

I’m pretty sure if I didn’t have legs I would have about the same dimensions as your average Weeble.
‪#‎38weeks‬

Buying school pictures was totally worth it. . . for the humor in how terrible they turned out.

With one week left until my due date I’m starting to feel like I’m about to take a test I haven’t prepared for.
‪#‎39weeks‬ ‪#‎VBAC‬

Josh has decided the problem with this family is that everybody has a twin except him (which is not technically true). His solution is that we need to adopt an 8 year-old so he has somebody to play with.
‪#‎adoptivefamilyproblems‬

My daughter is crying because she’s going to have to get shots to go to Kindergarten. . . in ten months. Sigh. . .
‪#‎drama‬

Parent-Teacher conferences are on Tuesday. I’m not SAYING I’m hoping to go into labor right before then . . .
‪#‎joking‬ ‪#‎sortof‬ ‪#‎parentofatroublemaker‬ ‪#‎loveourteachers‬

My daughter is crying because she just realized the dog won’t live forever. I told her he will probably live for many years so we don’t need to waste any tears about it now. She told me, “I’m not wasting them, I just like to use all the tears I have every day.” I can’t say I understand that philosophy, but it’s nice to know she has one.

It’s not so much that I’m looking forward to labor, I just go to bed every night hoping maybe I won’t have to do the dishes in the morning.

Brian: I’m bringing home take-out. What do you feel like eating?
Me: Something that if I went into labor and threw it up, I wouldn’t be totally embarrassed by it.
Brian: Jimmy John’s it is!
I’m pretty sure they should start putting that endorsement in their commercials.

I tried to prepare the kids that they could come down for breakfast some morning and find Grandma here instead of me. I didn’t realize that would mean they now come down and cry in disappointment each morning when it’s still just me.
‪#‎39weeks‬

Joel (age 2) just put his pants on without assistance and then said, “I a grown up.” Yep. That’s about all it takes. Did I mention the pants were on backwards?

It’s my husband’s birthday. He says if I give birth today, I don’t have to buy him a birthday present or make a cake. If you knew how bad I was a gift buying and cake making, you’d know how motivating this is.

Having a newborn means you can’t remember where you put your glasses, what month it is, or how long it’s been since you showered, but you have a perfect recollection of exactly how much sleep your spouse is getting each night.

I have six different brands of pacifiers, I’m breastfeeding, and getting ready to introduce a bottle. Apparently I subscribe to the P90X theory of nipple confusion.