How to determine if a child needs to use the bathroom: Put him in four layers of snow clothes.
Anybody else hand their toddler a sandwich and then start singing “I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly.” No? Just me? That’s what I thought.
When one of my kids hurts another one (on purpose or accident) I ask them to go comfort their sibling. 90% of the time this results in further injuries. . . on purpose or accident.
#toddlerhugsaredangerous
Joel: Mom, can I chillax in Josh’s room?
Things only 3 year-olds with older siblings say.
Josh: Mom, my hands are freezing from outside!
Me (warming them in my hands): They don’t feel that cold to me.
J: But Mom, I’m African. I’m not made for snow.
I’m pretty sure one of the circles of hell involves putting mittens on toddlers.
#whereisyourthumb
“Whoops. I forgot there was a baby in that closet.”
#largefamilyproblems
Child brings home a library book from school.
Mom hides library book so it won’t get lost.
Child returns (unread) book the next library day.
Repeat weekly
“Mom, did we adopt the dog or. . . you know. . . did you borned him?”
Ummmmmmmmm . . .
#adoptivefamilyproblems
Joel (3): I love you, Mom.
Me: I love YOU! Are you my best little friend?
J: No. I’m your son. You’re the mom. I’m not your friend.
#truth #parentingphilosophywin
Okay, so the monkey and weasel are playing a simple game of chance and then the weasel gets all crazy and KILLS THE MONKEY?! Is this the children’s song I’ve been singing to my kids all these years?
Joel (3): Mom, I have to go pee. Puh-puh- PEE! PEE starts with a P!
#genius #thanksSuperWhy
I had oatmeal for breakfast. Mixed with some milk. And butter. And sugar. And chocolate. Okay, so I had oatmeal no bake cookies for breakfast.
#donttellmymom
My toddler daughter has better dance moves than me.
#adoptivefamilyperks #mennonitesdontdance
Can someone tell me when the 50 Shades of Grey madness has passed and the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue is no longer for sale so I can let my kids out of their locked bedrooms?
#kidding #sometimesIwish
Congrats to all of you who made awesome Valentines boxes with/for your kids to take to school! Double congrats if you also handmade Valentines. You are my heroes. My kids took empty oatmeal containers they colored on and whatever Valentines were left and also cheapest at Target.
#lazymom