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Putting pigtails on a wiggly toddler requires the skills of a yoga instructor and crocodile wrestler. And that 10 minutes of work lasts approximately 30 seconds until they are pulled out.
#worthit #adorable
While I was documenting how adorable it was that the three year-old picked out such a mismatched outfit, the five year-old was putting on fuzzy boots to wear with her athletic shorts and t-shirt. Did I notice this before we got to preschool? No. No I did not.
#trendsetter
Am I the only one who has a hard time watching real estate shows because I feel bad for the people trying to sell their house who are unknowingly getting publicly ridiculed for their bad taste?
#awkward #cringe #goosewallpaper
Youtube has this nice feature where they make a mix of songs they think you’ll like based on songs you’ve listened to there before. I have enjoyed this and also been shamed by the random appearance of artists I looked up ONE TIME because I wanted to know who sang that song.
#DemiLovato #ArianaGrande #ONETIMEYOUTUBE #youtubeshame
I offered my daughter many reward options- special toy from Target, a fun piece of jewelry, a giant pretzel- for some good behavioral choices she’s been making. She asked if she could have a soda all to herself and could she buy one for Daddy, too.
#middlechild #daddysgirl #easytoplease
When my mom is coming over to watch the kids, I used to try and clean the house so she’d think I have this whole motherhood thing under control. Now I leave dishes in the sink in the secret hope that she sees I don’t have this whole motherhood thing under control and helps a sister out.
Danny (6): Joel, did you know there are two parts of God? Jesus is God and there’s God God.
Me: And there’s one other one, too. Remember?
D: Ummmmm, the serpent?
#momfail #Christianfail #humanityfail #ALLTHEFAILS
Just introduced the kids to “The Far Side” comics. Moments like these are why people have children.
(Watching the intro to Sophia The First)
Me: Hey, is she adopted?!
Bethany (5): Oh, Mom. Why are you so enchanted about that?
#myprincess
Well, it only took 10+ years of parenting and 6 kids, but right now a doctor is determining if one of my kids needs stitches or not.
#boys
“I’ll get you next time, Rectangle!” -Bethany, shaking her fist
If at first you don’t correctly identify a shape, mutter intimidating things to it until you do.
#loveher
It’s the first day of Summer Vacation. . . or as I like to call it, “Teacher Appreciation Season.”
Danny (6): Mom, I’m allergic to that (points to dessert). I mean, not allergic, but I just really hate it.
#brutalhonestydan
Bethany: Where you going, Mom?
Me: I have that dance class tonight. My exercise class.
B: Oh! When are you having a recital?
Me: Ummmmmm, never.
Josh (8) bursting through the door: Blood explosion. Blood explosion. Don’t worry- I’ve got it. Where do you keep the rags?
#summer
Joel (3): I had crusty snowflakes for breakfast.
#frostedflakes #momtranslationskills
Nothing like the excitement of the toddler bringing in your son’s bug collection and going all Free Willy.
#rollypollyroundup
We got Josh a new glove so he could pass his old one to Danny and Danny’s old one to Bethany so now she can stop using a bike helmet to catch baseballs.
#middlechildproblems
Just did my first grocery store trip with six kids by myself. I returned with all six children, plus two gallons of milk and band-aids, so I’m calling it a success.
#summer
I don’t care how social you think you are, all day as the only adult with six kids will suck the extrovert right out of you.
#wheresmyconeofsilence #summerproblems
I find that the post pregnancy weight loss tends to kick it in high gear about the time the baby needs to be spoon fed at exactly the same times you need to eat a meal.
#7months
Foster Moms: We love parenting so much, we gave up our amateur status, got our license and went pro.
Why is it that one of the most beautiful sounds in the world can also be one of the most annoying?
#childrenlaughing #sosweet #makeitstop
Me: Joel, we’ll watch whatever show you want tonight.
Joel (3): Good Eats!!
#nailedit
Husband: What did you just say? Oh no. It’s called an OBSTACLE course, NOT a TESTICLE course.
#dadtranslationskills #teachingthemcorrectterminologyproblems
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