Dear Beginning of Summer Maralee,
Hey! It’s me– Fall Maralee. Remember me? I was so excited to pull out sweaters and cardigans and to pack away these shorts that served us well all summer long. When I was folding them up, I thought I’d just including this note to you in the pocket to help you adjust to the shocking transition that is Shorts Season. There are a few things I would like to remind you of to help make this start to summer a little more enjoyable and less traumatic than previous summers.
First of all, let’s just remember that the weight you gain over the winter doesn’t count. It just doesn’t. It was survival weight. It kept you warm during the below zero months, so that’s a good thing. I think that’s science, right? And also, you have a lot of children and they were stuck inside all winter, so you did things that maybe in retrospect you regret, but helped maintain your sanity (I’m looking at you, Delicious Pan of Brownies). I’m not mad. You did what you had to do. And if there’s one thing I WOULD regret, it would be if we didn’t eat the wonderful Thanksgiving bounty and enjoy the Christmas goodies because we were all worried about Shorts Season. No thank you. No pair of shorts are worth that.
Now before you panic about it, let me gently remind you that you are a white woman. A very white woman. Like, so white all the purply leg veins are visible this time of year. That’s okay. No going into shock about the sight of your legs and don’t freak out about other people seeing them in this state. Maybe this is the year you will get slightly sun kissed! But probably this is yet another year where you’ll burn your knees while sitting on a bench some afternoon at the park and the rest of your legs will magically stay white. Whatever. You tell your beautiful kids in all shades of white and brown how perfectly God made their skin, so just start giving that lecture to yourself now, too. We are in our 30s– orange fake tans and skin cancer do not become us. Embrace the white side.
When tempted to worry, remember that nobody cares what you wear. It’s not that they don’t care about YOU or that they don’t have feelings about appropriate clothing choices, it’s just we’re all worried enough about our own wardrobes that who has energy left for thinking about what somebody else is wearing? Can you even remember what your friends wore to church last Sunday? Nope. Let’s get real– close your eyes and try to remember what YOU ARE CURRENTLY WEARING. . . that’s what I thought. Even you don’t care what you’re wearing once you put it on. Stop worrying about if it’s okay for you to wear shorts. If you want to wear the shorts, wear the shorts.
Also, you are not getting any younger. This isn’t a bad thing. Someday you’ll be able to wear comfy jeans with elastic waistbands that you’ll pair with sweaters that have embroidered snowmen and you will feel no shame, but TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY. Do not go gently into that good night just yet. Maybe next year shorts will seem like a thing of the past– who can say when you cross that magic line, so seize the day! Wear the shorts! Wear them with wedges or something crazy like that just because you can (kind of). And while we’re at it, let’s wear the tank tops before we get that arm sag thing going. And even then, if we still like wearing the tank tops and our daughters are not overly embarrassed about it, let’s just wear the stupid tank tops!
Most importantly, you have daughters. Two amazing girls who are daily coming to terms with what it means to be a woman and to be beautiful and to make peace with their bodies. Let’s teach them to be okay with their bodies by being okay with ours. Our good, strong legs aren’t something to be ashamed of, but also let’s be sure we’re buying shorts that are a respectable length and not functioning like a sausage casing for our thighs. Let’s not get crazy here. We can show our girls you can wear clothes that fit you, that flatter you, that allow for impromptu dance parties or footraces, and they don’t have to be indecent to be cute. And while we’re on the subject– let’s talk to that husband about intentionally saying nice things about our body in the presence of our kids. I think that will be good for me, good for our girls, good for our sons to see modeled, and good for that husband to practice. And here’s an idea– how about WE say nice things about our bodies in front of our girls, too! Let’s work on changing our own inner monologue by saying good things out loud where everybody (including us) can hear them.
Have a great summer, Maralee! Enjoy the dandelion bouquets the kids bring you. Sleep in a little if they let you. Try the slip-n-slide again this year (maybe this time you won’t get bruises!. . . but also remember as previously mentioned, we’re white, so yeah, you’ll probably always bruise). Don’t let your feelings about your body and your clothes suck the joy out of what is such a fun time of year.
Love,
Fall Maralee
P.S. I hope I washed the shorts really well before I packed them up. If not, I’m sorry. I trust you will somehow magically have more time on your hands for things like pretreating than I did. But bonus– if I forgot to wash them, you might be able to find some candy in the pockets or loose change.
P.P.S. Thanks for leaving me the candy in the winter coat pockets. Sometimes absentmindedness has its benefits.