Come be my friend and add your thoughts on Facebook or Twitter.
Someday I’d like to have some smart comeback when people say “You’ve sure got your hands full” but it’s hard to think of one when a baby is putting his fingers in your mouth, a toddler is crying and wiping his nose on your pants, a kid is yelling random facts about Pokemon to anyone who will listen, and a kid is digging through your purse for something to eat. So I guess that’s just a yes. Yes, I do have my hands full. Unless you’re offering to help, you may be better off just backing away slowly.
#lovemykids #lovemychaos
Will Josh get in trouble for playing with his new Magic 8 Ball while he’s supposed to be getting ready for school? All signs point to yes.
Am I the only one who didn’t know “Zooboomafoo” featured The Kratt Brothers? And why was I so much more excited about that than my kids?
#WildKratt4Life
I was really proud of my kids for keeping the toothpaste tube so clean at the top. . . until I found out it was clean because they were licking the excess off.
#problemsolvers #nailedit
There’s something deeply sweet and sad about being out with your child and reaching for his hand as you walk across the parking lot, only to realize that you don’t need to hold his hand anymore for him to be safe. I’m thankful for how my son is growing into such a responsible kid, and thankful sometimes he still lets me hold his hand.
Took the toddler’s crib apart and immediately got rid of it.
#bandaidstyle #stillhurts
It’s only AFTER you’re at Bible study that you remember the jeans you’re currently wearing weren’t sitting on top of the dresser because they were clean and ready to be put away, they were sitting on top of the dresser because there was toddler poop on them and they needed to be pretreated and washed.
#sorryladies #pottytrainingproblems #classy
You can either resent your friends for being better at baking, better at hosting, better dressers, better at crafting and better at homemaking than you, or you can sit in their beautiful home, eating a lovely dessert, wearing their hand-me-downs, and graciously receive the homemade gift they’re handing you.
#nobrainer #lovemyfriends
Brian: Josh, you did a good job on your pork chop, but you need to finish your mashed potatoes.
Josh (8): You gave me a lot, Dad.
Brian: That’s because you love mashed potatoes.
Josh: . . . I don’t really like them, I usually just eat them so I can get seconds on meatloaf.
#dinnerconfessions
I have read, researched, and learned more about caring for curly hair in the one year since adopting my curly haired daughter than I ever learned in my previous 30+ years of being a curly haired woman.
#transracialparenting #lovemygirl #lovehercurls
Star Wars birthday party with a bunch of 6-9 year-olds = 5% watching Star Wars, 95% lightsaber battling.
Josh: (introducing his first piano piano piece for us) I will be playing “Ode to Joy” by Beethoven.
Danny: THE DOG?!
#nailedit
Whoever came up with the wisdom, “Do one thing every day that scares you.” probably had toddlers and was just embracing it.
#bugs #pottytraining #whatsthatsound #whatsinyourmouth #WHY
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve said, “Why did you do that?” to a toddler, I could afford all the bandaids and superglue it would take to fix what they did. (And also, the answer to that question has never provided any clarity to the situation.)
#rhetoricalquestion
“Oh, you guys are being so adorable! Stay right there and let me get the camera.”
#howtomakeyourkidscry #howtomakeyourkidsfight
I own a plate that says “Happy Birthday to you” on it and has a picture of a cupcake with a candle. This is a fact that I remember exactly one day after anyone’s birthday in our house.
I will be checking and sampling some of my children’s candy because it’s very likely a sinister neighbor has tried to poison them. . . oh wait, THAT HAS LITERALLY NEVER HAPPENED. But I will still be sampling my children’s candy because. . . you know. . . safety or something.
#momconfession
I’m thinking of opening a business where people bring me their nice furniture and I offer to “distress” it over a period of about five years by just letting my children use it. As long as we all agree that “distress” is best achieved by chewing on it, coloring on it, poking it with scissors, using it as a Hot Wheels track, hosting sloppy wet tea parties on it, and occasionally tap dancing on the top, I think we could be pretty successful.
#milliondollaridea
I disciplined the child who colored all over the bathroom with a blue marker. The child retaliated by sitting on top of a pile of blankets and peeing. It’s just another awesome day with toddlers.
Me: Do you know who I love? I love Carrie!
Carrie (2): Much?
Me: So much.
#melt #bedtimeritual
Bethany (5): Mom, there are some people I love, but I don’t think I can trust them. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you can trust them, does it?
My work here is done.
#proudmama #healthyboundaries
Me: Did you play with some friends at recess today?
Bethany (5): No, I played by myself.
Me: Really? What do you do when you play by yourself?
Bethany: I just run around the playground. Screaming.
#myspecialsnowflake #loveher
The doctor’s office confirmed what we already knew was true: the one year-old and the two year-old are exactly the same weight.
#adoption #genetics
Bethany (5): Mom, for my birthday party I want a tea party and friends and we can all dress fancy and bring our dolls.
Me: That sounds like so much fun!
Bethany: And then we could watch a special movie!
Me: Oh yeah? What movie would you want to watch in your fancy dress with your dolls?
Bethany: JUSTICE LEAGUE!
#loveher