Dear New York Times,
Thank you so much for caring enough about me to weigh in with your opinion about my hair. It is just SO HARD to find a publication willing to tackle the tough issues, like making women feel like garbage about their hair choices. Without your insightful article I would have had no idea how ashamed women should feel of their postpartum bodies and changing hair because we live in a culture that is so supportive of new moms with no pressure on them to instantly return to their pre pregnancy selves. Without your help, I wouldn’t have known how important it is for moms to leave their hair long so we wouldn’t find ourselves “exposed” while in the repulsive state of recovering from pregnancy.
When I first ran across your article, I thought maybe you had suggestions about what kind of hair might look chic, but still be practical to maintain. Help a sister out, New York Times. But no. This was a piece designed to shame women with newborns who decide to get a haircut you’ve universally decided “falls short of flattering.” Because there just isn’t enough mom judgement flying around the internet.
I feel as though you may not have breastfed, New York Times. Maybe I’m wrong, but I imagine that if you had ever gone through the Herculean effort of making milk from your body and then attempting to deliver that milk to a screaming, grabby child, then you might understand why a woman would be tempted to not also have to deal with hair hanging in that child’s face during the process. Have you ever had partially digested baby formula spit into your hair, New York Times? It doesn’t smell great, especially when your ability to drop everything and take a shower may be slightly impaired by the human you recently created. Has an infant ever grabbed your hair with the tenacity of a crocodile going into the death spiral? No? That’s so weird, because you gave wisdom to moms with such certainty that you knew exactly what was best for us when it seems you may not have considered A SINGLE PRACTICAL CONSIDERATION OF ACTUAL HUMAN MOMS.
If a mom wants to keep her hair long, good for her. If a mom wants to get her hair cut short, good for her. Why in the world is that something we as a society need to express an opinion about? How have you managed to take one of the most stressful and traumatic times for a mother and turn it into a beauty pageant? Go home, New York Times. You are drunk.
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