Foster Thoughts: When Biological Families aren’t What You Imagined

This month I am partnering with Christian Heritage and My Bridge Radio to encourage families in Nebraska to consider foster care as a way to love families in crisis. If you’re curious about foster parenting, now is the time to get your questions answered! Check out Christian Heritage for more details about informational events happening across Nebraska in September.

Before you actually experience the world of foster care, it is easy to believe the version of families in crisis that the overdramatic Movie of The Week tries to sell you. There is a picture painted of these families that generally involves horrific abuse and evil parents. While I won’t tell you that those families don’t exist in the world, I will tell you that they are not the people I have generally run across in my years of caring for children through foster care. The vast majority of kids who become state wards have entered the system because of neglect rather than abuse. This is important because unlike abuse, neglect may simply be a sign of parents who love their kids and want to care for them well, but just don’t know how or are struggling through their own problems that prevent them from giving the right kind of attention to their children.  These families don’t need our condemnation. They need our help.

Rebecca Tredway Photography

When you take on the role of foster parent, you are so much more than just a caregiver for the children involved. You have an opportunity to become a friend to a fellow parent who is struggling. By treating this person with dignity and loving their child well, you are given the chance to be the hands and feet of Jesus without even leaving your home. You can reach someone with the love of Jesus that might not ever enter a church building. You can become part of a healthy support system for someone desperately in need of support. Now I know firsthand that as hard as we try, sometimes our efforts are rejected by the very people we’re trying to help, but that doesn’t stop us from loving them and offering them grace. Foster care is an opportunity to show a family a new normal and to offer them a second chance. By helping these parents we are empowering them to break the cycles of abuse and dysfunction and we’re changing the world for these children.