Sometimes laughing at my life makes you feel better about yours. I’m okay with that. Join me on Facebook or Twitter.
Joel (4): Mom, I’m faster than a one headed chicken!
#truth
Me: You have any questions for me? Anything you’ve been thinking about recently?
Josh (9): Yeah, I did have one. Why would God make people he knew wouldn’t love him? And how come we don’t see miracles anymore- why don’t I know anyone who has been raised from the dead. And when Jesus comes back are they going to write more in the Bible and then could we be in it if we’re alive then?
Me: Ummmmmmm. . .
#NOTREADYFORTHIS
I burped, which I rarely ever do. The toddler looks at me, gasps and says, “You fart your mouth!” and I’m in love with motherhood all over again.
I woke up this morning with the realization that a big day in our family is coming- I think it’s time to introduce the kids to Newsies.
#carryingthebanner
Point of Clarification: The toddler did not want Lipstick for lunch, she wanted FISH sticks.
#mysterysolved #WHAT #youcanteatlipstick #whyareyoucrying#momtranslationfailure
I spent a literal 3 hours yesterday cleaning our toy area- dumping things out, cleaning them, putting play set pieces together, getting rid of broken things, etc. So obviously today the kids have pulled them all out and dumped them in a pile in the middle of the room to play with.
I have come to believe that parenting is really just figuring out how to sanely live in your own personal version of the movie “Groundhog Day.”
Me: Do you know how much I love being your mom?
Carrie (2): Yes!
Me: It’s just great to be your mom.
Carrie: It’s great exercise!
#truth #wheredoesshegetthisstuff
Turns out the four year-old thinks his favorite show is called “Poots in Boots.”
#soclose #PussinBoots
Well, it’s time to go eat a hot dog while sitting in a baby pool.
#summermom
Joel (4): I’m going to marry T and we’ll have adopted girls and adopted boys.
Me: That sounds great. I like her. You think she wants to marry you?
Joel: Yes. She’ll be my wife. And after the wedding. . . you know. . . she’ll be my mom.
#thatsnothowthatworks #orisit
Two year-old insisted on wearing her “poke-a-nuts” dress today.
#polkadots #soclose
My Fight the FOMO Pledge:
-When my friend posts pictures of her Girls Weekend, I will be happy she had a fun, refreshing time.
-I will remind myself that a refreshed friend is a good friend so her trip was ultimately good for me, too.
-I will be thankful that my friend has other friends because I know I am not enough to meet all my friend’s needs and don’t need that kind of pressure.
-I will remember that there is not a finite amount of fun or friendship in the world and her having those things doesn’t take them away from me.
-I will remind myself that I can plan my own trips if I need them.
Who’s with me?
#fighttheFOMO
Joel (4): Shut the front door or zombies will come in! God can make zombies.
. . . I would argue with him, but if it gets them to shut the front door, I’m kind of okay with it. . .
#momconfession
I asked a child to come up with a consequence for some minor irresponsibility. He suggested that he have to “take a shower EVERY DAY for a WHOLE WEEK.” Boys are weird.
If you are a person who really wants everyone to like you, I would recommend not having kids. Or, at least not having more than one.
#everyoneiscrying #cantfixit
Me: . . . and a comb and a brush and a bowl full of mush and a quiet old lady who was whispering. . .
Carrie (2): QUIET!
#soclose
Me: Goodnight bears. Goodnight chairs. Goodnight kittens. And goodnight. . .
Carrie (2): BUTTS!
#Iquit
Sometimes when I’m lost in thought, my husband catches my eye and I find myself guiltily blushing. . . because I was thinking about baby names. (please tell me I’m not the only one who does this)
#weredone. . . #probably