For The World’s Most Okayest Dad

There are many Father’s Day cards out there for the perfect dad. There are public shout-outs and lengthy blog posts about the Most Amazing Dad and we all feel like maybe it’s not entirely honest when we think about our very real dads and the dads of our kids. So here’s to you, World’s Most Okayest Dad! You get all our love, too.

An Ode to The World’s Most Okayest Dads:

You sometimes move plates from one surface (the table) to a different surface (the counter) and for that, we are mildly grateful.

Sometimes your “supervising the kids” looks suspiciously like taking a nap. But how can we argue with that when everybody is safe and happy?

You have successfully avoided changing a diaper in months by handing us a child and saying, “Does he smell weird to you?” and then casually walking away. Skills.

You are capable of sort of playing Monopoly while also watching a basketball game and eating nachos. Your multitasking abilities are beyond explanation.

When Mom says, “Could you grab a loaf of bread from the store on your way home?” you always get ice-cream, too. You know what the family priorities are.

You are able to sleep through ANY amount of child crying which makes us stand back in wonder (while we’re up walking the baby).

When Dad is in charge, playing in the sprinkler means you don’t have to take a bath later.

You taught the boys that a wooded area is a perfectly acceptable place for a bathroom stop. Resourceful.

You manage to convince the kids what they most want to be doing is sitting with you on the couch watching your favorite movie. And you’re absolutely right– that IS what they most want to be doing.

Your go-to phrases are things like, “It doesn’t look that broken to me.”, “Finish those fries before you have ice-cream.”, “You can have a Snickers if you go get one for Daddy.”, “Stay in the bed.”, “Daddy’s car, daddy picks the music.”, “The bug probably just wants to be friends with you.”, “I don’t care if you thought it was disgusting, you need to thank your mother for the meal.”, and “I will pay you a dollar in the morning if you JUST STAY IN THE BED.”

Maybe you aren’t always the most romantic, but sometimes you grab your wife’s butt while you’re in the kitchen putting away dishes together. Your kids saw that and they are disturbed, but also glad to know you still like each other.

You are able to make a passable “meal” from any random set of ingredients in the pantry that allows you to avoid having to do any cooking or meal prep. Impressive.

Making a ponytail is not one of your skills, so you convince your daughter that her bedhead look is the new style and she rocks it with confidence.

You subscribe to the “God made dirt and dirt don’t hurt” philosophy of eating food off the floor  which has saved us untold heartache from kids who dropped their hotdog on the ground.

It’s not that you really wanted a dog for the kids, it’s just that you really didn’t want a cat. The kids love the dog, so they never need to know your true motivation.

You have perfected using your foot as a broom for sweeping things under the couch when you don’t want to deal with them.

When the children are having a burping contest, you always swoop in at the last minute and win.

Dads don’t have to be perfect in order to be just what their kids need. Dads can mess up (just like moms), dads can be embarrassing, dads can slack off and they are still the irreplaceable dad to their child. Sometimes we need to take a minute and just lower the bar on the parenting expectations. You don’t have to be a Father’s Day Card Perfect Father. Our kids want to know we are there for them, not that we always handled everything perfectly or catered to their every whim. Our kids need the World’s Most Okayest Dads to show them life isn’t about perfection or magic or workaholism. Life is about love and joy and forgiveness and sometimes it’s about finding some rest on a hammock in the shade while your kids pretend you’re a sleeping dragon. When it comes to being Okayest, you guys are nailing it. Well done.