Quitting has a bad reputation. It’s perceived to be giving up on your dreams or on yourself. It’s what you do when you’ve run out of willpower, support or talent. It’s that thing that losers do. Whatever else we do in this life, we’re supposed to never, ever give up. Quitting isn’t an option.
But that’s not what I’m teaching my kids.
There is a moment for quitting. Every adult knows this, but we like to pretend our kids are the exception to the rule. We will keep them pushing forward. We will be SURE they are successful. We won’t allowing quitting in our house. And then we realize we’ve backed ourselves into a miserable, unrealistic corner with no way out.
Quitting is sometimes the exact right response to realizing we’ve gotten everything valuable we can gain from that experience. You started your child in dance classes, then realized she’s uncoordinated, hates performing, and the whole experience is costing you the money you could be saving for a family Disney vacation. Maybe it’s time to quit. Your son starts the trombone, but he also starts basketball, Boy Scouts, and the chess club. Maybe something is going to have to give.
When we frame quitting as failure, we make our kids feel like they’ve lost out on something when the truth is that it takes a lifetime of starting and quitting to figure out what you love, what you’re good at, and what inspires your passion.
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