I know there’s a lot of noise right now, but I wanted to offer a moment of quiet reflection for people who are struggling to understand the issues around policing and the justice system in this country.
I am a person who instinctively trusts authority and loves rules. I get really nervous if I think the meter may have expired when I park downtown. I’m a person that needs to believe my good behavior will mean I’m never in trouble. I need that level of control to feel safe. So talking about issues with the police is very disorienting to me. It’s easier to not think about it.
It’s easier to look for reasons that person who is in trouble is not like me. They somehow deserved what happened to them. Bad people are bad and bad things happen to them. Good people in authority are always good because if that’s not true, how can we function in society? Confirmation bias is really strong in those situations.
For people who have tendencies like mine, you may have watched the George Floyd situation unfold with horror, but you may have worked to temper that horror with a desire to wait for all the facts. We are a system that has trials and juries for a reason. And now the verdict has come out.
If you find yourself rationalizing and justifying why you still don’t need to be horrified about what happened, I’d like to know what it would take to convince you that there’s a problem. I don’t know what it will take for you, but I know what it took for me.
The death of Tamir Rice was a turning point. A child was killed in a park during a two second encounter with police. Literally two seconds from the time police arrived until he was dead. The police car does not appear to be fully parked before the officer is already shooting. His 14-year-old sister was handcuffed at the scene for the crime of racing to her dying brother. It’s indefensible to me. As a mother of a Black son (who is now two years older than Tamir Rice was when he died), it was a reality check.
Reading “Just Mercy” was also a turning point for me in helping me question some of my ideas about the fairness of the justice system. It was eyeopening and heartbreaking. And I felt frustrated at myself for not knowing these things earlier.
While the word “woke” may be overused, there is a moment of feeling like you’re waking up to a reality and a world that feels very unfamiliar. There are truths I wish weren’t true. There is work to be done that I didn’t realize before.
If with the verdict yesterday you are feeling that sense that maybe you need to do some self-education on why people are hurting, I’d encourage you to harness that desire. Read “Just Mercy.” Ask yourself, “What if I’ve been looking at this all wrong? What if for a moment I believe the people I typically disagree with? What if I shift my confirmation bias in the other direction for a time and take a fresh look at the evidence I’ve wanted to avoid? Where is the heart of God in this situation?”
I want you to know it’s okay to change your mind. Because you’ve believed or supported one thing in the past, it doesn’t mean you always have to subscribe to that idea. If what we believe is true, it should hold up to the most intense scrutiny and we owe it to ourselves to scrutinize those things on occasion. Don’t be afraid of different perspectives or difficult questions.
I know the phrase “White silence is violence” looks catchy on a poster, but I don’t fully agree with it. Sometimes “white silence” means you’re listening. You’re learning. You’re questioning. You’re grieving. If today is your day for silence, I’m with you. We should never be past the point of reevaluating our position, which takes time and prayer and education.
Ultimately, I’m not talking about where we end up, I’m talking about how we start. I don’t have the solutions. I’m not an expert in the area of police reform or what specific policies would help the justice system be more Just for all citizens. But I’m listening. I’m learning. I’m questioning. I’m letting my silence leave room for the voices I respect. It’s a humble posture and it’s one I need to become more comfortable with.
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