I was at a training about a month ago where a retired judge talked about the importance of creating a welcoming climate for kids who come to court. As part of his presentation he held up a board book and said he liked to give them to babies in his courtroom. He said, “Sometimes a mom would apologize that the baby chewed on the book and I would tell her that’s what they’re for and ask her if she wanted another one.” He encouraged the room full of child welfare professionals to think about what the experience of court is like for kids.
And I couldn’t think about anything else for the rest of the training.
I have been the one trying to keep a fussy baby quiet in court, making a bottle or holding out toys. I’ve been the one keeping preschoolers entertained with a new matchbox car I bought specifically for this occasion. I’ve been the one handing out lollipops– a new one as soon as the old one was finished because it’s hard to talk too much when your mouth is busy with a lollipop. I had one attorney tell me, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen your kids without a lollipop.” She wasn’t wrong. But I’ve juggled these things because it has been incredibly important to me to have the kids in court.
Over the years I’ve seen that not everybody brings their foster kids to court. Court can be scary for kids. It’s a place where there can be some formalities and a desire for calm. Sad truths may be shared. Transportation can be an issue for kids who would have to miss school and adults who have to take off work. Emotions may run high. Trauma can be triggered. Court is tough, beyond just keeping wiggly kids still. But I think kids need to be in court whenever it’s possible and appropriate.
Seeing that child helps remind everybody why we’re here. The team sees the children age as the case progresses. They have a chance to have their voice heard. It’s been one of the safest and most predictable places for us to make meaningful connections between the child, their biological family and the team. It’s a time for a child to have a moment with the lawyer representing their best interests.
So how do we make court a place where kids feel welcomed? A place where they know they matter. Maybe even a place they look forward to going? And how can we help facilitate a connection between them and their judge?
This well-loved bear was a gift from someone special in my daughter’s story. It was a present from her judge that she received at her adoption 12 years ago. Other stuffed animals have come and gone, but she can’t imagine getting rid of this bear. Not because it’s the cutest or nicest bear she’s ever had, but because her judge handed it to her. It matters because of who it came from.
This is a precious tradition each one of our adoptees has experienced, but it comes on a day that is already full of celebration and it’s the end of their relationship with their judge. What difference could it make to a case if every time a child came to court, they were able to feel personally welcomed, acknowledged, and had a special moment of connection with their judge? Could that make it easier for the child to open up? Would they feel the judge was really considering them as they make decisions? Would it be a natural moment for a judge to ask the child some questions?
This feels like a problem we can help solve. And I think we can do it with a little gift.
I am partnering with a local judge to pilot a project where we provide The Case for Toys for him to use in his courtroom. It will be a tote filled with objects intended to provide joy and a moment of connection for kids and youth of any age– from board books, to stuffed animals, to blankets, to journals and pens. We want the gifts to be quality, but the gifts aren’t really the point. They are a way to facilitate a connection. An interaction. A positive feeling.
I’m anticipating the start of this project could be a little bumpy as we figure out the best way to make it happen. That’s why we’re starting with one judge, one courtroom. We’ll run it for a couple months, meet to evaluate how it’s working, make necessary tweaks and then see if we can expand it. I’m looking forward to getting this judge’s input on the process as he helps us craft some best practices and guidance we can impart to other judges who want to implement it in the future.
I can’t tell you how excited I am about this. Genuinely giddy. And I’m thrilled that we’ve got a judge who is excited to start this too! As soon as we can get The Case in his hands, he’s ready to go. For so many years I have told people, “Not everybody can be a foster parent, but everybody can do something for foster kids.”. . . and then I struggled to help people find onramps to help. I am delighted to provide this onramp that will directly benefit court-involved kids, both by providing them something that brings joy, and by helping them develop a meaningful relationship with their judge.
If you want to help with this initial phase of figuring it out, I need you! I’m providing an amazon link here to what we’re hoping to use to start our initial Case. I’ve got pen sets and stuff animal sets and everything in-between, so there’s something for the price range of anyone who wants to help. My hope is to see what works best as the judge utilizes The Case and then create a standard list so we can make this scalable. How great would it be if these Cases could be sponsored and sent to courtrooms wherever they’re needed? I’m starting small, but I’m dreaming big.
If you want to help, here’s the amazon link and I will keep you updated as we move forward with the project.
If you would like to give directly to our organization (Connect 82:3) to cover administrative costs and give us some flexibility to buy things as needed, here’s the link.
(Connect 82:3 is a registered 501c3, but we are still in the waiting process for our IRS approval as a non profit, so we can’t issue tax deductible receipts at this time. You can find more info at the donation link posted above.)
Thank you for reading and caring and helping us with this project! I am ready to get this started and I can’t wait to tell you how it goes.