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My children think when they hear the fire alarm go off, they are supposed to stop, drop and roll.
#momfail
Me: Did you have a good time with your friends this morning?
Joel (3): Yep! I didn’t pee my pants!
#nailedit
My baby keeps having to go in for weight checks. Skinny shaming starts early these days.
#hesfine #noseriouslyHESFINE #skinnygenes
My daughter just learned an important lesson- glue sticks and chapsticks are not interchangeable.
20 month-old really likes to chat, but mostly just says “yes” or “no”. . . so it’s pretty much like trying to have an in-depth conversation with a magic 8 ball.
#askagainlater
I opened the door to the boys’ room last night at 11 p.m. and found them on the floor surrounded by books about reptiles, their own drawings and writings and a small mountain of paper trash. Josh looks at me and says, “There’s just so much research!” with a heavy sigh. Who are these boys?
#summer
New bathroom management strategy: Don’t clean it until the boys move out. Then burn it to the ground and start fresh.
#whydoIbother #controlledburn #scorchedearthpolicy
(early this morning, before anybody else was awake)
Joel (3): Hey Bethany, I need to come in your room. I forgot to tell Carrie goodnight.
Bethany (5): NO JOEL. You are not coming in MY ROOM.
Joel: Oh Beth. You’re hurting my heart!
#sensitivelittlebrother
A lady outside the library saw me bringing my crew of six (ages 8 and under) in and made a comment about what it’s like running a daycare. I told her this wasn’t a daycare, these are my kids. She laughed and said, “Yeah, right” and went back to talking about daycare issues. My kids got a good laugh out of that.
#couldntpaymeenough #Idoitforlove
“Mom, you know the bird that died?”
“Yeah?”
“I think there were too many birds in the nest for the mom bird to take care of. And I didn’t see a dad bird helping. They needed a dad bird, too. I think that’s why the baby died.”
#formerfosterkidassumptions
I would like to thank the Ask-A-Nurse operator from 5 years ago who when I called (in a panic, totally guilt-ridden) to tell her my 3 year-old fed my 6 month-old foster child a fruit snack and he choked, but swallowed it, she told me not to feel too bad. She said the fruit snack would pass and as long as he wasn’t currently choking, we were okay. She also told me the dad who called just before me had a three year-old who fed the baby cat poop, so I shouldn’t beat myself up too much and at least my little boy fed the baby something edible. Ask-A-Nurse, I have remembered that story many times when I need a reminder that things could be worse and to not be so hard on myself. Bless you. . . And I really hope cat poop baby was fine, too.
#perspective
The time I spend packing, prepping the kids, communicating with the families they’re staying with > the amount of time I will actually be away from the kids.
#vacation?
In case you’re wondering, Mini Trix cereal is the exact right size for a three year-old to wedge up his nostrils.
#yourewelcome
Joel (3): OW! Mom, I fell out of my bed. That was NOT expected.
. . . I also didn’t expect him to know how to use the word “expected” correctly.
Well, my husband will be home from work soon. I guess it’s probably time to brush my teeth and put some mascara on.
#summermom
Me: That looks like a fun movie.
Josh (8): Can I see it with you?
Me: That depends on what it’s rated.
Josh: I hope it’s rated SPLL.9 because that means I can go.
Me: Ummmmm, okay.
Love is: When the three year-old shares his much beloved Lucky Charms marshmallow with the baby.
Frustration is: When Mom is trying to figure out why the baby has a green tongue.
(Bethany, standing at the pantry) “Mom, can we have that can of cake for breakfast?”
#wishfulthinking
