To The Real Super Heroes of Halloween: Moms

Here’s to you, moms throwing healthy meals into the crockpot at noon so you’ll have time to put safety pins on the too-big costume when you’d normally be cooking.

Here’s to you, moms frantically searching through Target for that last accessory you swore you already had in the dress-up box that is now unexplainably missing.

Here’s to you, moms who will waste your favorite eyeliner drawing cat whiskers on a wiggly preschooler.

Here’s to you, moms who let your kids carve the pumpkin themselves even though you were panicked the whole time that they would stab themselves.

Here’s to you, moms who toast or roast pumpkin seeds– so much work for so little reward.

Here’s to you, moms who have to stop getting kids ready fifteen different times to hand out treats to the neighbor kids who are OUT SO EARLY, but in all your frustration you remember to tell them how cute they are.

Here’s to you, moms who spent four hours creating Pinterest-worthy treats that your kids gobbled up in 10 minutes without comment.

Here’s to you, mom who is watching her teenage trick-or-treater run out the door without her for the first time and instead of guilt-tripping him into staying, manages to yell a supportive, “Love you! You look great! Have fun! Be safe!” 

Here’s to you, moms who bought the king sized candy bars for the neighbor kids. My kids thank you and will speak of you fondly every time we drive by yourself from now until forever.

Here’s to you, moms who recently welcomed a new temporary child into your home and created trust by finding just the costume they were hoping for.

Here’s to you, moms of kids with allergies who bought safe treats you’ll trade your kids for later.

Here’s to you, mom of the child having a meltdown on the sidewalk over who knows what. We have been you. We are you. We support you. Have a Milky Way bar.

Here’s to you, moms who towed the line about costumes you felt were inappropriate in spite of the protests of your children.

Here’s to you, moms who rescheduled conference calls and meetings so you could get out of work early enough to be fully present with your kids as they got ready, even though you know you’ll have to make that all up later.

Here’s to you, moms who watch your kids pick the stupid lollipops out of the neighbor’s treat bowl when they could have gotten you a Heath bar.

Here’s to you, moms of October newborns who are wandering the neighborhood bleary-eyed and sleep deprived with a baby in a makeshift pajama costume strapped to your chest, just so your older kids will be able to have their mom with them when they trick-or-treat. . . and because pictures of newborns in makeshift pajama costumes are adorable. Your future self will thank you. 

Here’s to you, moms who made your kid’s Halloween costume only to watch them rip it and drip chocolate on it within the first fifteen minutes.

Here’s to you, moms who put your child’s terribly carved pumpkin on full display on the front porch instead of carving a better one yourself for the place of honor.

Here’s to you, moms who don’t have any children at home, but still buy all the candy, greet each kid with a smile and build a little moment of joy into their concept of “neighbor.”

Here’s to you, moms who go out in full costume yourselves for reasons I can’t understand, but your children find delightful.

Here’s to you, moms working in the ER, or on business trips, or handling a crisis as the on-call social worker, or working the nightshift in any capacity. Your kids know they’re loved and they’ll be excited to tell you about all the fun they had later.

Here’s to you, moms of the specialist trick-or-treaters who will run to get them the candy yourself because their wheel chair won’t make it up those porch stairs, or figured out how to incorporate noise-canceling headphones into a costume, or beam with pride when your little guy makes eye-contact and says, “Thank you!” in spite of his social struggles.

Moms, you are my heroes. I raise my Snickers bar and salute you.