A Musing Maralee

December 30, 2013
by Maralee
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December Photo Project- Week 4

For the last three years I have loved participating in my friend Rebecca’s December Photo Project. She hosts it from her blog and encourages people to take a picture daily from the beginning of December through Christmas. It’s been a fun way to be a little intentional during the holiday season to stop and reflect. This year I have chosen to document the life of a foster mom through an image a day. For confidentiality reasons, there won’t be identifiable photos of our foster child, but I struggle with feeling like confidentiality means our kids become invisible. It’s easier to ignore what you can’t see. So I’m documenting the impact a foster baby creates in a home, like the waves that happen when you throw a pebble in the water. And what lovely waves they are. (For the record—I am not a photographer, don’t necessarily enjoy taking pictures, and have done zero editing to any of these images. I like to document, but I am not artistic.) Enjoy this last installment of the series.

25 Images from a Foster Mom

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Day 22

My two former foster kids (and some of their favorite friends) perform in the church Christmas program. It is one of my greatest joys to see my kids involved in church and embraced by their spiritual family. Moments like this get me a little emotional to think of the redemption that has happened in their lives. Thankfully there was enough wiggling, dresses pulled up over the head, and wrong words screamed out that I didn’t have the chance to work up a good cry 🙂

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December 29, 2013
by Maralee
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A Life in Status- December, 2013

Come join the conversation on Facebook or Twitter.

Putting a barely potty-trained toddler to bed means dealing with the impressive stalling tactics of The Boy who Cried “Poop”.

Joel got hurt and was crying.
Me: What happened? Can you tell me with your words? Use your words.
Joel: WOOOOOOOORDS!
Guess I should have seen that coming.

Child hands me a snack to open while I’m distracted. I mindlessly open it and then eat it. Child watches and weeps.
#momfail

When four kids watch “Dinosaur Train” and three of them are adopted, they WILL argue about which one of them is Buddy.
#adoptivefamilyproblems

Sometimes taking your kid to the doctor feels like taking your car to the mechanic. “She was making this weird sound, I swear. It was like this cachuggaSQUEE sound, but only first thing in the morning. I mean, she’s not making it now, but just before we got here she was. . . You’re not sure what that was, but maybe we should try this thing that costs $149 and see if that fixes it? Sounds about right.”

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December 27, 2013
by Maralee
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The Faces of Our Story

Before there was this:

There was this:

This picture makes me smile and brings me back to a time when these three little faces (and about 15 more) were my world. I am thankful to be an adoptive parent, a foster parent, a biological parent, but that wasn’t always my identity. Before anyone called me “mom” I was a hosueparent for an amazing group of young men who called me “Miss Maralee”. The three boys in the picture above are now three handsome young men who make me proud. They have persevered in the face of big adversity. They have beaten the odds. They have blessed me by allowing me to share in their stories long after we no longer lived in the same place. They are welcome in my home and I consider them family.

Last night one of these boys had dinner with us. We hadn’t seen him in many years, but through the wonder of social media we had been blessed to keep tabs on his life just a bit. We had a great evening with him sharing stories and laughing and looking at pictures of him from when he was eight years-old and I would carry him around on my hip. I loved this boy so dearly and many of my happy memories of my time as a housemom have his face front and center.

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December 23, 2013
by Maralee
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December Photo Project- Week 3

For the last three years I have loved participating in my friend Rebecca’s December Photo Project. She hosts it from her blog and encourages people to take a picture daily from the beginning of December through Christmas Eve. It’s been a fun way to be a little intentional during the holiday season to stop and reflect. This year I have chosen to document the life of a foster mom through an image a day. For confidentiality reasons, there won’t be identifiable photos of our foster child, but I struggle with feeling like confidentiality means our kids become invisible. It’s easier to ignore what you can’t see. So I’m documenting the impact a foster baby creates in a home, like the waves that happen when you throw a pebble in the water. And what lovely waves they are. (For the record—I am not a photographer, don’t necessarily enjoy taking pictures, and have done zero editing to any of these images. I like to document, but I am not artistic.) Enjoy!

25 Images from a Foster Mom

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Day 15

Leading music at church is a family affair. Brian plays guitar and sings, I get to sing with him, and each one of our kids has had a season of being “worn” on my chest. Baby’s first time was tonight and she blessedly slept through the whole experience.

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December 20, 2013
by Maralee
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Radio Interview on Reorienting Christmas

Here is the audio from my recent radio interview about how we work to reorient the way our kids see Christmas. It has been an intentional shift away from Santa and Frosty and Jingle Bells (although we aren’t scared of those things and don’t ban them from our home) towards viewing Christmas as a birthday celebration. The literalist in me struggles with the reality that we don’t know the actual date of Christ’s birth, but in the absence of that knowledge and with a desire to celebrate the greatest gift, we’re going to embrace December 25th. We want to emulate the Wise Men and give good gifts out of our thankful hearts for what we’ve been given. Have a listen to hear how we make that happen in the Bradley house.

December 19, 2013
by Maralee
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My Christmas Manipulations

The audio from my radio spot for the week:

As my children know, it is finally the most wonderful time of the year- time for presents! As much as we work to help our children embrace the spiritual realities of God becoming flesh, it is hard to work past the cultural expectations of Christmas.

This is especially difficult because we so often use gifts to reward or maybe even bribe our children. They are familiar enough with this concept that I even see them using it with each other. The other day I asked my three year-old daughter, “Sweetie, where did you get a penny?” She told me, “Joshie give it to me.” I asked her why and she said, “He want to marry me. But I still not marrying him. I just marry Danny.”

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December 17, 2013
by Maralee
3 Comments

Creating a Legacy and Using the Heirlooms

Yesterday I was cleaning out my purse. This has become a fairly regular chore in my life once I ditched the diaper bag. I refuse to carry multiple bags everywhere I go, so my purse has to do double duty. About once a week I have to at least be sure there are enough diapers, wipes, a burp rag and an infant size change of clothes to get me through any emergency situation that might happen while we’re out. This week I also tried to collect any trash (WHY do my kids think my purse is a trash can when we’re out?!), grab loose change out of the bottom and restock my emergency snacks. As I was digging through the bottomless pit that is my purse, I pulled out a handkerchief.

This was no ordinary handkerchief. It was something I got years ago that belonged to my grandma, who has been with Jesus for a long time now. For a season I kept it tucked away in a box with other special mementos. I ran across it recently and just didn’t feel right about the life it was leading, hidden away from the world and without a purpose. So I stuck it in my purse where it has been used to wipe noses, clean dirty hands, tend to a skinned knee, dab coffee off my shirt, and function in a supporting role in multiple pretend play scenarios (it’s a tiny blanket! or a tent! or a hat!) with many washings in between. And it shows. What was once protected has been well used.

I am tempted to feel guilty about this. I feel like I’m not protecting the legacy of my grandma by allowing my kids to play with her things. But the reality is that a handkerchief is not her legacy. My kids live her legacy every day as we continue family traditions and they benefit from a home where for generations there has been a commitment to family and hope and hard work and most of all, to Jesus.

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December 16, 2013
by Maralee
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The December Photo Project- Week 2

For the last three years I have loved participating in my friend Rebecca’s December Photo Project. She hosts it from her blog and encourages people to take a picture daily from the beginning of December through Christmas Eve. It’s been a fun way to be a little intentional during the holiday season to stop and reflect. This year I have chosen to document the life of a foster mom through an image a day. For confidentiality reasons, there won’t be identifiable photos of our foster child, but I struggle with feeling like confidentiality means our kids become invisible. It’s easier to ignore what you can’t see. So I’m documenting the impact a foster baby creates in a home, like the waves that happen when you throw a pebble in the water. And what lovely waves they are. (For the record—I am not a photographer, don’t necessarily enjoy taking pictures, and have done zero editing to any of these images. I like to document, but I am not artistic.) Enjoy!

25 Images from a Foster Mom

(Week 1)

Week 2

Day 8

Middle of the night feedings. Not my favorite part of the infant experience- adopted, biological or foster. But this is what love looks like.

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December 11, 2013
by Maralee
0 comments

A listening kind of love

Photo by Rebecca Tredway Photography

I’m just going to admit it- I’m not always a very compassionate parent. I have raised a bunch of boys through my days as a housemom at a children’s home and I have three sons, but it has been the addition of my daughter that has helped me realize exactly how bad I am at having empathy and listening to someone’s pain. This point was brought home to me the other day when I put my daughter’s beloved Piggy in the wash. A few minutes later Bethany had a bit of a crisis about an unkind brother and instead of coming to me about it, I found her sitting in front of the washing machine explaining the situation through the glass door to the pig. Apparently even when neck deep in water, Piggy is still a more sympathetic listener than Mommy.
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December 9, 2013
by Maralee
1 Comment

The December Photo Project- Week 1

For the last three years I have loved participating in my friend Rebecca’s December Photo Project. She hosts it from her blog and encourages people to take a picture daily from the beginning of December through Christmas Eve. It’s been a fun way to be a little intentional during the holiday season to stop and reflect. This year I have chosen to document the life of a foster mom through an image a day. For confidentiality reasons, there won’t be identifiable photos of our foster child, but I struggle with feeling like confidentiality means our kids become invisible. It’s easier to ignore what you can’t see. So I’m documenting the impact a foster baby creates in a home, like the waves that happen when you throw a pebble in the water. And what lovely waves they are. (For the record—I am not a photographer, don’t necessarily enjoy taking pictures, and have done zero editing to any of these images. I like to document, but I am not artistic.) Enjoy!

25 Images from a Foster Mom

Day 1

An ornament to celebrate Baby’s First Christmas in a way that will help us remember how special this time was even if when we unpack the ornaments next year, she’s no longer with us. Our much loved little fairy, floating in and out of our lives.

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