Is there anything more universal in parenting than guilt? I remember my very first night as a mother I lay sweating in sweltering heat under a mosquito net in Africa listening to a podcast about parenthood where a man spoke about the difficulties moms experience as they wrestle with guilt. Even though I had just been handed my son a mere 6 hours earlier, I could already identify.
Those feelings have only gotten stronger over the years as I wonder if I am doing right by my kids. I can feel guilty about the food they eat, how much time I should spend reading to them and don’t get me started on the frequency of their toothbrushing and flossing.
I realized this guilt had gotten out of hand when I was reading the kids a Bible story and started feeling guilty that they weren’t getting to play out in the beautiful sunshine. When you’re allowing yourself to feel guilty about reading the Bible to your kids, you are officially out of control. At some point we have to lay down this idol of perfectionism that causes our guilt. This desire to be the mom who makes the best brownies on the block while simultaneously reading her kids a story and mopping the floor. This fictional woman can rob me of the joy I could be finding in my life, even in the messiness. In motherhood even if you could do everything perfectly, there is no promise that your kids will turn out perfect. This lack of control can either throw me into a tailspin of guilt or it can free me and allow me to live in the grace God offers understanding that He is the one in control. I want to choose to do my best, let go of guilt and trust that God has my kids safely in the palm of His hand.