Come see for yourself on Facebook or Twitter.
Projected high of 97 degrees? Summer is being like that guy at your party who doesn’t realize everybody else went home an hour ago. Summer, quit being a jerk. You can go home now.
Joel (finding a Transformer): Felmo! Felmo!
Me: Are you saying “former”? You’re right! That’s a transformer.
Bethany: Baby Joel, that’s Octopus Prime.
#soclose #toddlercommunication
I’m hoping the next time somebody clogs the toilet they don’t tell me about it while I’m eating lunch.
Anybody else watch “Ninjago” with their kids? I’m pretty sure the characters are just the members of One Direction made into Lego ninjas. Appealing to all demographics, I guess.
Kind of awkward when you make eye contact with the grown man driving the car next to you just as he puts a booger in his mouth you watched him pick from his nose. I think if that ever happens again, I’ll give the guy a thumbs up. Because nothing would relieve the tension of knowing somebody watched you eat your own boogers like having their enthusiastic support.
Child: Mom, I’m brushing my hair and pooping!
Me: At the same time?
Child: Yeah! It’s awesome! Come look!
Me: Um. No.
#proudmom?
Having a musical baby is kind of like living in an episode of “Name that Tune” where if you can’t identify the song based on three notes and some vague vowel sounds, you will be punished with watching five minutes of someone wailing and thrashing on the ground.
Sometimes I try to avoid making eye contact with the laundry pile that needs to get folded. And then I remember that it doesn’t have eyes. And won’t go away just because I ignore it.
(seeing the breakfast dishes left on the table)
Me: Hey! Do we have a maid that comes to clean here? If I open the window will little birdies and squirrels come and take care of your dishes for you and tidy up the kitchen. No. So what do you need to do?
Danny: Let them in?
Walked right into that one.
Sign you are not a classy family: When at a restaurant the baby decides he’s finished with his meal, yells for the dog and starts throwing the last of his food on the floor.
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