A piece of glitter just came out of my ear.
#Ihavedaughters#Ihateglitter
I hear people describe this as such a divisive election season. I disagree. I don’t think I’ve ever seen our country so unified about how terrible our choices are. I don’t like your guy, but I also don’t like my guy and mostly I wish there was another way (but I also looked at that other guy and he’s not so great either). Whatever way you decide to vote (or not vote), I think we’re all equally embarrassed about this situation which feels sort of comforting.
#silverlining
At any point in time the bathrooms in my home either smell like a middle school urinal or the community pool locker room.
#somanyboys#bleachismyfriend
The two year old likes to ask for a kiss at random times, which is adorable. . . until you realize she’s smelling your breath to figure out what you just ate and if she’d like to ask you to get her some.
#genius #chocolatelover
Just told the 4 year-old he could have a lollipop if he put the 2 year-old down for her nap (tell her a story, tuck her in, turn the light off) and she could have a lollipop when she woke up if she stayed in bed when he put her down. So far, it’s working.
#protip #workfromhomemom
The 9 year-old just called someone “Preppy” which was confusing until I remembered he’s been watching Saved by the Bell.
#ZachMorrisisablondeTomCruise
Me: What lollipop did you pick?
Joel (4): Ummmm, I think it’s barrel flavor. The picture is a barrel.
#soclose #rootbeer
Bethany (6): Joel, when you grow up you can be a fireman. But you don’t even get a lunch break! If you’re a worker man you can have a lunch break, but if you’re a fireman you can eat breakfast and it has to LAST UNTIL DINNER. I don’t know, Joel. . .
I have no idea where this came from. But she was very certain.
#bigsisterconcerns
Carrie (2) bites the skin off her chicken leg: MOM! The chicken ALL NAKED!
#toddlerlinguistics
Charlie Brown may have been temporarily infatuated with the Little Red Haired Girl, but I’m just betting he ended up married to Lucy.
#watchedtoomanycartoons #arguelikeanoldmarriedcouple#CharlieandLucy4ever
Son: Mom, could me and Danny build a house in the backyard just for us that we could live in?
Me: But I would miss you too much! And who would make your dinner?
Son: But Mom, then we could fart WHENEVER WE WANTED.
#boys #simplepleasures #mightbeagoodidea
Sometimes when my kids are grumpy I remember a piece of wisdom from my mom. She told me in those moments she would ask herself, “When is the last time I got down on the floor with them?” Usually that helped identify the problem. I am not one who is really good at playing with my kids. My mom wasn’t that kind of mom either. But sometimes when things are crazy you need to stop, put aside your adult agenda, and just sit on the floor. Or on days like today, I sprawled out on the floor and let them climb all over me for a few minutes. And then they were happy. Our kids want US and sometimes they best thing we can do is just give them our presence.Someone asked a great question on my last post about dealing with grumpy kids who are past the “get on the floor with them” stage. We raised teens before we had babies, so this is a topic close to my heart. I found that I was able to deal with the teen grumps in much the same way as I now do my toddlers (since I think I learned it from having teens as much as from the wisdom of my mom). They need your presence. No adult agenda. And physical connection helps, too. I liked to f
lop down on the couch next to them and just be quiet for a bit. Or be funny for a bit. Or ask them if there’s anything that’s been on their mind recently. And sometimes all those things can be best addressed by going for a walk together. The point is to communicate, “I have time for YOU. I want to be with YOU.” That communicates love in ways that just speaking it may not, which can help calm that grumpy heart.
I accidentally got a little too caffeinated yesterday and ended up writing a bunch of “letter to the editor” style emails to people in positions of power. I’m pretty sure with enough coffee, I could change the world. . . or at least really annoy people who aren’t doing enough to change the world in the ways I want.
#whyIdontdrinkalcohol #caffeinatedadvocacy
