Once a year I get to have a conversation about foster care with MyBridge Radio. I love getting this chance to address some of the common reasons why people won’t become foster parents. I love sharing our story and it’s important to me to be honest about the joys and the struggles.
This year the focus was “Care Enough to Get Uncomfortable” and I think that’s such an accurate description of foster care. Whatever else it might be, it IS uncomfortable. I’m glad to be able to define and explain the ways we’ve seen that play out.
You can listen to the radio interview below, I’ve got some commentary (it’s just impossible to squeeze in everything I want to say) and then beneath that I’ve posted links to my relevant posts. If you have questions based on what you’ve heard and read here, I’d love to see them in the comments and I’ll do my best to answer them.
-It’s not wrong to be nervous about starting the foster care process. That isn’t a lack of faith, that’s wisdom. Good intentions and high ideals won’t get you very far in this process. Ask smart questions of people who have been there before you as you think through the practical realities of foster care. Be nervous. Do it anyway.
-It’s hard to explain how frustratingly annoying foster care can be. It’s really about a loss of control and opening yourself up to constant criticism. It can be hard to find healthy boundaries in foster care, but it can be done. Knowing your limits and giving yourself grace can help you to not burnout when the daily grind starts to wear on you.
-I am really passionate about including your children in the foster care decision making process. Talk with them openly about the needs, about the risks, about their role as siblings. Listen to their concerns and don’t shut them down. The worst thing you can do is bring one traumatized child into your home and create multiple traumatized children. We need to minimize the risks to our children while still acting in obedience that if God is calling us, he’s also calling our kids.
-EVERYBODY CAN DO SOMETHING. And everybody should be doing something! If you aren’t in a position to be a foster parent, ask the foster care agencies, the foster parents, or the foster care advocacy groups in your area how you can help.
Relevant posts:
Foster Care Isn’t Devastating (it’s mostly just annoying)
In Praise of the Single Serving Size Foster Parent
The American Dream is Ruining Foster Parents
We’re considering foster care, but I’m worried about the impact on my kids
I’m considering fostering, but my spouse isn’t supportive