Messy is the New Clean

I think I’m an inverse hoarder.  I get an emotional high from getting rid of stuff.  I am constantly adding to the box in the garage that needs to go to Goodwill.  When it finally gets dropped off I feel a little high and then hurry home to find more stuff to start a new box.  I’m not saying my house is always clean (let’s be real people- I found dust ON my vacuum cleaner. sigh.), just that I have a little obsession with simplifying.  It is probably my least favorite mom role that requires me to be Keeper Of The Stuff.  I would rather change the apocalypse diaper than shove another craft project in the keepsake box.

So I really loved having my friend Emily come speak at a gathering of moms the other day about simplifying and organization.  She talked about the cost of clutter to our lives and I was totally with her.  Yay for less stuff!  But. . . my life is still messy.  In the time it takes me to make pancakes the kids managed to unroll a roll of toilet paper around the bathroom and squirt soap in the sink.

I’ve also been doing a book study with a couple friends where we’ve been reading “A Praying Life” by Paul E. Miller.  We’re just a couple chapters in and it’s been fascinating stuff.  In this last week’s chapter we talked about the importance of coming to God “messy”.  We were talking about emotionally messy instead of trying to be all put together before we come to God, but I realized my physical mess is also an excuse I use to keep from investing time in prayer.  How can I pray when there are dishes in the sink?  How can I spend time with God when there’s a load of laundry sitting on the couch waiting to be folded?  It sounds so dumb when I write it out, but that’s what’s in my heart.  I feel like to truly be a good steward of my time I should only be praying in my clean house with my well-behaved children sitting quietly at my feet. . . so, basically, never.  I keep trying to convince myself that day is coming, but it may still be years down the road.  So am I really planning on waiting until then to invest in my spiritual health?  That sounds like a mom thing to do, doesn’t it?  Always putting our real needs last to try and make the outside look all put together.

I know I need to keep figuring out that balance.  Learning to keep my life simplified so the clutter doesn’t run away with me.  Using time wisely to keep things clean. . . let’s go with “cleanish”.  And prioritizing my relationship with God instead of waiting of the perfect moment that may never come.   Maybe I’ll start by seeking Him while doing the dishes and folding the laundry.