Watch the chaos in realtime on Facebook and Twitter.
I got to speak about foster care (with 2 of my fostering friends and someone from our agency) at a MOPS meeting this morning. A lady came up afterwards and said, “I texted my husband while you were talking. I told him, ‘We’re in trouble.’ He texted back, ‘Bring home the paperwork.'”
Yes, Good Lady- you are in trouble. The best kind of trouble there is. And kudos to that husband for being open to just taking the next step. We need a couple thousand more of that guy.
#fosterlove #daymade
Snuggling child in my lap just started throwing up. So I grabbed the bottom of her shirt and made a little pocket to catch the puke while I carried (i.e. RAN) her upstairs and let her finish puking into the garbage disposal. You’re welcome.
#protip
“Mom, it’s like they just picked up books and threw them randomly on tables! How are you supposed to find anything?” -Josh, 8
#librarybooksale #treasurehunt
When you adopt kids from foster care, sometimes they will make suggestions to you about who they’d like to live with if you ever go to prison.
#awkward
I am working from home and the kids keep busting into my “office” (which is my bedroom the other 22 hours of the day). I finally told the three year-old I would be locking the door and he was only to come get me if the babysitter died. I’m not sure who was more traumatized- him or the babysitter.
#workfromhomeproblems
Anybody else struggle to get your baby’s head through a shirt and then start having traumatic labor and delivery flashbacks? No? Just me? Awesome.
#tenpoundbaby
Me: Oh, you still have a little fever! You’ll have to stay home today.
Bethany (5): NO! I don’t want to miss school!
Me: Is something special happening at school today?
B: Yes! (sobbing) EVERYTHING! I don’t want to miss CALENDAR!
#dramatic #weloveschool
(While we were driving past traffic cones and road work)
Bethany (5): Mom, when I grow up, I want to be an instruction worker.
#soclose
Me (in a conversation about school friends): I think you are good at making friends with boys at school because you have brothers so you know how to play with boys. Some girls don’t have any brothers. Did you know Daddy grew up without any sisters?
Bethany (5): I thought YOU were his sister! You weren’t family? How did you guys EVEN MEET?
My Dear Children,
It is possible to experience the full range of human emotions without making the entire neighborhood listen to you experience the full range of human emotions.
#sorryneighbors
When my toddler is angry, she pulls down her pants in her rage.
#thingstofixbeforeKindergarten
“I don’t need a travel mug today. I’ll just use my regular mug and drive extra carefully.”
#coffeepants
I’m assuming the people designing bathrooms that have clear glass showers do not know about those of us who have to answer trivia questions about cartoon characters, solve conflicts about who is cheating at UNO, and open fruit snack packets for a toddler all while in the shower.
The Toddler is spending her first night in a big girl bed. Any guesses on how many times she’ll get out of bed tonight? (She’s been in bed for ten minutes and I’ll give you a hint that the number will for sure be more than three.)
Netflix now has episodes of “Fixer Upper” and in spite of my natural cynicism towards adorable couples, Chip and Joanna are winning me over.
#HGTVgetsme
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