My people are over on Facebook and Twitter. Come be part of the crazy.
I thought it was so sweet that my child left a little note for me to read while he was gone for the weekend. . . until I realized it was a note for me to read to the dog.
#loveshispuppy
(a conversation over cookies and lemon bread)
Friend: I want to start eating more healthy so I found some good crockpot recipes and I was going to make a document of them, but then my computer started being weird so I think we need a new computer. Obviously, now we can’t start eating healthy until we get a new computer.
#friendlogic #lovemyfriends
Joel (4): (mumbling to himself) When you die, then nobody can boss you around anymore.
#middlechildproblems #heaven
(dropping the four year-old off at a birthday party)
“I got you a present! It’s Legos!”
#whydidIwrapthis #thesuspensewastoomuch
The toddler is angry because I opened his string cheese when clearly he was content to just chew on it through the plastic.
#momscantwin #whymykidiscrying
Just when I think we’re getting better about being able to purge toys without drama, the kids watch the “Toy Story” trilogy. . .
I’m sure there would come a time when The Baby wouldn’t pitch an epic fit when I turn off “Can’t Stop the Feeling” but we just haven’t gotten to that point yet.
#dancingbaby #onrepeat
The four year-old just referred to a concert pianist as a “real life Schroeder.”
#keepinitclassy #welovePeanuts
There comes this magical parenting moment when you offer help to your child and they say “I got it” and they ACTUALLY DO “GOT IT.”
#justtakes9years
Josh: Does everyone who is single want to be married?
Me: No, but most single people I know would like to be married if they met the right person. But marriage is hard work!
Josh: I know! No more root beer parties.
#priorities
You know it’s a good meal when The Baby eats so fast he chokes, spits the food out, picks it back up and eats it again.
#macncheese
The last few days have been rough. As I (a white woman) explained to my black son through my tears what has been going on, I told him I also have hope. I see many of my white friends are outraged and willing to speak out and stand beside their black friends, family, and neighbors. I have hope that this is an important part of how effective change happens. Keep raising your voice. You are being heard.
#wecandothis
Me: What’s Dad doing?
Josh: He’s playing a game on his computer.
Me: He is?
Josh: Yeah. He goes type type type and then click click.
Me:. . . So. . . You mean, he’s working?
Josh: OH! Yeah, that’s probably what it is.
#whohastimeforcomptuergames
If you’re wondering if your kids are extroverts or introverts, just drop them off at VBS.
#BESTDAYEVER #doIhaveto
If you don’t have a band-aid in your purse, but you DO have a feminine hygiene product, you find out pretty quickly if a child was serious about needing help to stop the bleeding.
#MomINEEDa. . . #nevermind
Me (sighing and mumbling): I’m so stressed.
Bethany (6): Well, why don’t you take care of that, Mom?
#ifonlyitwerethatsimple #wisebeyondheryears #selfcaretime
I told the kids I would give them each a chocolate chip if they made the biggest train track possible with our giant box of track. 40 minutes later, they are still working on it.
#nailedit #whattheylldoforchocolate
The two kinds of workers at VBS pick-up:
Worker 1: You want this kid? Great! Go! Do you want any others? We’ve still got like 15 that need to leave.
Worker 2: We’ll need to see three forms of ID even though your child is clinging to your leg and screaming, “Mommy’s here!”
#weloveVBS
I’ve been anxiously waiting for a phone call all morning, so I think I’ll go to the bathroom. Isn’t that always when the phone starts ringing?
#JustaMINUTE
I called my husband to tell him how stressed I was, waiting on some news. I went into detail about how stress has impacted my digestive system today which is when he said, “Hey, I’m in an appointment with a client, so I’m going to take you off of speaker phone.”
#oneofthosedays
Joel (4): Dogs can’t get married so they can’t have babies.
#letsgowiththat #whowantstoexplainneutering